I was going to tell you about my day, about the poodle who collapsed in full blown anaphylactic shock 5 minutes after getting rabies vaccine and how insane it was, but to be honest I'm a bit exhausted so I wanted to cover an inane topic instead. I found one. My normal days, the ones without those life threatening allergic reactions and the like, are composed to a very large degree of three things: ears, skin, and poop. Because of that, you get inured to it after a while, and when someone ... Read more »
Archives for October 2009
Ode to the Ocelot
I have a black cat. Most of you met him a couple of weeks ago. His name is Apollo. We also call him Squeaks, Smelly, and "STOP MEOWING AND GO TO BED I ALREADY FED YOU!" When we adopted him, I had the brief uneasy rumbling that being mildly superstitious might bring when one adopts a black cat. It didn't last long, though. Honestly, black cats seem kind of lucky to me- as my neighbor so ominously noted when we first moved in, "the black ones last longer." (If you don't know what I am ... Read more »
On being a diplomat
Wars are won and lost on the powers of diplomacy. Some people are born with the gift, while others need to work at it. Some people never learn. We all have one of those acquaintances, the one who is proud of "telling it like it is"- the one who says your butt looks big in those pants, she can tell you gained a few pounds, your new haircut makes you look like a Chia pet, and that your kids are being hooligans. Those people are usually pretty lonely, as a general rule. Such champions of the ... Read more »
Dr. Pansy at your service
"Well, Ranger looks great," I said to his owner, straightening up and brushing off my pants. "His pyoderma is completely cleared up." "Great," said the owner, an older guy- maybe a few years into retirement. "Hey doc, since you're here-" he held up his hand- "do you think this is blood poisoning?" I peered at his finger and reflexively gave the stock answer I am required to provide when asked for human medical advice. "I don't know. You should ask your doctor." I looked more closely at the ... Read more »
CSI: San Diego
Officer, we've had reports of a serious crime at the home of Dr V. while she was out on vacation. Our forensics expert is examining the victim, one wooden toybox. It's gruesome. I've seen a lot in my years, but this one still unnerved me. How could anyone do this to a poor defenseless box? Make sure the kiddos aren't looking over your shoulder. Dear God! Can someone cover this with a sheet? We've nabbed the perp, a cocky little guy who seems to think we got nothin' on him. ... Read more »
Aiming to not meet your expectations
Just so you all know, my daughter was constipated and not inoculated with H1N1. Being grateful that my kid is constipated is a first in this household. Pass the Miralax! We had a new client today- well, let me rephrase. Potential new client. He made it clear to the receptionist that he has interviewed 4 veterinarians already to see who he would choose to spay his dog, and I quote, "none were up to his exacting standards." He was here for a consultation to maybe do the spay with us. Gratis, of ... Read more »
Flu, flu everywhere
I'm not sure if it's the media, the hype over the impending swine flu H1N1 pandemic, or the fact that things really are bad this year, but we simply can't escape talk of the flu, can we? In my town, a healthy little 5 year old girl came down with H1N1 last week, and died. Where I'm not normally the kind of person to hover over my kids and go running to the doctor at every little sniff, this week I'm on edge. And hovering. Sniffle? Might be a cold. Might be swine flu. Stomach pains sending my ... Read more »
This is Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
When no less an auspicious blog than the Huffington Post tackles the topic of pet Halloween costumes, you know you're onto something. (Go look at the 3-headed weinerdog. It's awesome.) No longer do we need to hide in the bowels of PetSmart at Halloween, surrounded by other fringe element pet people. Pet costumes have gone mainstream- humiliate your pet with pride! ;) Eh, who am I kidding. The average dog loves the attention. Cats are perhaps a tad more debatable, but I digress. Before I had ... Read more »
5 pet dangers (besides chocolate)
Ah, fall. The leaves are turning, the air is getting chill, and people everywhere are assembling the assorted holiday regalia that autumn brings. Now we all know chocolate is bad for pets, right? I don't need to tell you about that. Don't leave it on the counter. Here are a few others, some well known, some less so, that many of us run into this time of year and may not realize how dangerous they are. 1. liquid potpourri Little old ladies the world over take note: Sure, it makes your house ... Read more »
When mom’s away…
I've been on vacation this week. A much needed, long awaited break from the grindstone of work. I had fully intended on having a week's worth of posts in the queue, but I only got as far as two before I realized we were leaving in 12 hours and I hadn't packed a single thing. So I've been trying to get some stuff done at night on a less than reliable wifi network, rushing such things as picking images for posts- which may or may not get you in trouble when you accompany a post about an ... Read more »
The good news is, it’s not a tumor…
When a client tells you a pet is rolling over and acting really out of it, they get priority in the queue. That is how I found myself in the exam room with a small, middle aged grey terrier and a small, middle aged bespectacled owner. "When did this start?" I asked her. "This afternoon," she said quietly. "Georgie just started listing to one side and kind of stumbling." The list of differentials start running through my head as I instruct the owner to place Georgie on the exam table, ... Read more »
When being right doesn’t matter
"$150," the woman insisted. I squinted at her. "Really?" "In Italy," she said. "Full mouth extraction on my cat." She paused. "And the vet didn't even use anesthesia." Now I was extremely skeptical. How do you pull every tooth in a cat's mouth without anesthesia? "They were falling out anyway," she added helpfully. "He just kind of twisted and out they came." "OK, so that is pretty end-stage disease," I told her. "I'd like to try and avoid that in this cat-" gesturing to the current ... Read more »
Top 5 Nutrition Myths
OK, I don't know if they are myths so much as long-held veterinary standard talking points, but it was a lot easier to type "myths" than "standard procedures and protocols with which I disagree." 1. Feed your pet the same food every day or they will get sick. This is true in some cases, namely if you have a pet on a prescription diet or a pet with dietary sensitivities, but for most healthy pets, there's no reason not to switch it up. You have to be careful if you are watching your ... Read more »
The Phantom of the Vet Clinic
I've had a nibble or two in my career, but I've been fortunate to never have any serious bites. Some of it is luck, I'm sure, and a lot of it is planning. If I don't feel comfortable around a pet, I'll muzzle it. It's not an option, it is the condition on which I will complete an examination. Which is why I was so rattled when a husky tried to bite my face off the other day. He was nervous, in the way most huskies tend to be. He was an intact 8 month old dog who had zero training or ... Read more »
On safari: Ocelot vs Goldenbeast
Our cameraman has spent months, nay, years, stalking the elusive Domestic Jungle Ocelot. His patience has finally been rewarded. He is usually a nocturnal creature. At night, when the denizens of the day have retired, he emerges from the depths of the garage and stalks his prey. Namely, veterinarians. Oblivious to her imminent doom, the veterinarian slumbers. She wakes up to the silent kneading on her chest as the ocelot sucks out her her life's breath and bites her on the ... Read more »
The in-laws think I’m weird
My daughter turned 5 this weekend, and with it came the requisite pomp and circumstance and party debauchery. Both grandparents come from modest homes, and both my husband and I were raised modestly. A couple of presents on your birthday, a few bucks from grandma slipped into a card, that sort of thing. I try really hard to rein in stuff with my kids and resist the temptation to go overboard, because as we all know, that usually doesn't end well. I don't want spoiled kids (I save that for the ... Read more »
Call of the Day: Shady Surgeons R Us
Receptionist: Hello, thank you for calling. How can I help you? Person: I have a 4 year old cat and I need all 4 paws declawed. How much is that? Receptionist: Well, we only do the front two paws here. And that runs about $250. Person: Are you @$$!!%%$# kidding me??????!!! Receptionist: ...I'm sorry? Person: That is just @#$!!# ridiculous. Receptionist: I'm sorry. Person: Isn't there some back alley declaw vet you know of? Someone who does it for like, 50 ... Read more »
Tim and Sunny’s Big Adventure
I try to avoid answering the front door when I can, but the knocking was insistent. I grabbed Brody, still attached to his permanent lead as insurance against his naughty behavior, and go to the door. It's the woman who lives two doors down. "Hi," she says, eyeing Brody nervously. "I, um, have a dog in my backyard," she said in the tone one might say, 'I have a land mine in my yard,' or, 'I found Charles Manson hanging out by the pool.' " I was wondering if it was yours?" "Nope," I said. ... Read more »