On safari: Ocelot vs Goldenbeast

by | Friday | October 9, 2009 | 23 comments

Our cameraman has spent months, nay, years, stalking the elusive Domestic Jungle Ocelot. His patience has finally been rewarded.

He is usually a nocturnal creature. At night, when the denizens of the day have retired, he emerges from the depths of the garage and stalks his prey. Namely, veterinarians.

Oblivious to her imminent doom, the veterinarian slumbers. She wakes up to the silent kneading on her chest as the ocelot sucks out her her life’s breath and bites her on the forehead. And all she sees in the last seconds of her life are two shiny yellow eyes.

What could lure this retiring creature from his dark daytime sarcophagus?

Birthday balloons needing popping.

A short distance away on the savannah, the archenemy of the domestic ocelot- the Goldenbeast- slumbers.

The ocelot is safe, for now.

Or is he?

The Goldenbeast’s sense of smell is keen.

The ocelot senses the presence of a predator. Does he stand his ground, or flee?

With the sixth sense that has ensured his survival for so many years, the ocelot has divined what we have not.

The Goldenbeast is tethered, unable to leave the confines of the lowlands.

What has brought the Goldenbeast to this lowly fate?

STEALING THE KILL OF THE HEAD BEAST WHILE THE OTHER BEASTIES WERE OPENING BIRTHDAY PRESENTS! THIS IS A BAD, BAD GOLDENBEAST!!!!

(This was a seriously tragic way to learn he could reach the plateau of the tabletop.)

The ocelot cannot help but laugh at the folly of the naive young beast.

He remains, as always, king of the jungle.

Filed: Daily Life, On Safari, Picks of the Litter
  • Wade

    Oh dear! Bad Goldenbeast! Maybe when it’s his birthday you can make a cake for him to demolish, I’m sure he’d enjoy it!

  • Megumi

    I woke up grumpy, read this and immediately became significantly less so – I love these adventures!! Oh Goldenbeast, don’t you know you never steal the kill of the headbeast?! (I must say though, I don’t blame him one bit – that cake looks worth the time spent in the lowlands)

  • Sue

    Ah, the many times cakes, sandwiches, and snacks have fallen prey to our own Chocolatebeast. You’d think by now we’d have a sixth sense about her reason for gliding silently into a room. I feel for you and your poor cake.

  • msubugvet

    Yay the elusive ocelot!!! :)

    Bad Brodster…but good job on getting some delicious looking cake

  • wikith

    I hit the cake photo and sprayed my cereal milk all over the computer! Baaaaad Brody!

    I love the Goldenbeast posts almost as much as Pet Doctor Barbie.

  • http://epetmeadow.com Meadow

    lol…..those golden beasties are well known for their voracious appetites, ALL should steer clear…..from cakes to kleenex, flee!!

  • Rachel

    oh my goodness! hahahaha that was fantastic…sorry that your “kill” was ruined headbeast, but at least your readers get some laughs. and i am so happy to see more photos of Apollo (what a gorgeous cat!)

  • http://givepawdogtraining.wordpress.com/ Jenny Chun

    Your cat is gorgeous!

    And as always, love your unique way of telling stories.

  • http://twitter.com/AboutVetMed AboutVetMed

    Yummy looking cake, despite the ambush. How did your daughter (and the inlaws?!) do with the cake upset?

    Your cat is beautiful. I loved that he laughed. heehee

  • Jamie

    I can’t say that I blame goldenbeast for attacking that wonderful delicious looking cake. I am sure he thought it was worth being punished for. Too stinking funny!

    Your cat is just gorgeous!

  • Tonya

    I agree with everyone above. Your cat is as gorgeous as Brody is adorable!

  • Kristie

    Oh. No. I hope the Head Beast wasn’t TOO upset.

    Apollo is GORGEOUS.

    And, Brody? *snuggles*, buddy. You’ll get your kill someday.

  • http://www.vetwisdomcafe.com Tammy

    Seriously funny post! I love it. Poor birthday cake … it took quite a hit!

  • Sedna

    HAHAHAHAAAAA. Oh man. I could hear this refined British accent in my head as you narrated- right up to the cake and the scolding. Hilarious!
    And what handsome beasts they both are.

  • Lisa

    LOL! YOu would have thought you’d learned your lesson by now Jess in the dog v. cake catagory :)

  • lawgeekgurl

    Poor Brody! :) I once came home to find that my Obie had eaten an entire box of truffles, including the box. All I found were the odd wrapper or two and some shredded shiny foil. So sad, mostly because they were spendy! And supposed to be a gift. Luckily they were mostly liqueur-filled without much dark chocolate on ‘em. Of course I think he got hammered off of them. My current doggie doesn’t swipe treats, but she has been known to chew on the odd hairbrush handle.

  • jw

    Haven’t commented lately (still on Kevin alert), but this sure did make my day by putting a big ol’ smile on my face.
    Thanks Doc V.!

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      I’m sorry you are still on Kevin alert. Sounds like you are doing a good job of manning the fort. :)

  • http://www.hiddenexposures.com hidden exposures

    i’m home sick but you put a big smile on my face with that tale (tail? ha ha) of adventure! love it!!!

  • Kristie

    Apropos of nothing, I remember a while back you were experimenting with different kinds of cat diets. What did you end up going with, out of curiosity?

  • Chile

    uh-oh. I think Blade has been talking to Brody because that’s one of his tricks. You got three tricksters telling Brody how to misbehave and I have a feeling our three beloveds are loading him up with lots of mischievous tricks to pull on you.

  • jm

    Lol. Too funny!

    We found out the hard way that our arthritic black lab was far more spry than she had previously indicated… when she somehow retrieved the turkey that was defrosting on top of the washing machine. We discovered it when someone happened to look out the window while peeling potatoes and saw the carnage all over the yard. I guess once it was down to her level, wrestling it out through the doggie door was no trouble.

  • http://www.threechairs.typepad.com Marie

    Absolutely hysterical.