These are not the droids you’re looking for

by | Friday | January 7, 2011 | 18 comments

Anyone else catch the new Grey’s Anatomy last night?

I know, I know, it’s way over-melodramatic. Two mass shootings in less than a calendar year? It’s not exactly rooted in reality.

There was a part where a guy was crashing, a guy that they really wanted to save, and Bailey starts yelling at the sky. “YOU DON’T GET HIM, YOU BASTARD!! YOU SEND HIM BACK RIGHT NOW!” or something to that effect.

And boom, just like that, the defibrillator works and Chuck is spared. Then Bailey apologizes for calling God/ Kevin/ the sky a bastard, and yaay, Chuck lives.

I’ve never known the universe to be that responsive. Usually if you yell something like that, everyone looks at you sadly, pats you on the back, and you still lose. Or you get him back for 10 seconds, then you lose him anyway, because the universe likes to do stuff like that because it’s got a habitual cruel streak.

I would love the ability to bend the universe’s will to my own with the power of my own voice. It would make my life so much easier. The idea of voicing something into reality has been around since Obi-Wan sent the Storm Troopers packing on Tatooine, but this version is updated for a new millennium’s sensibilities: Louder. More aggressive. More yelly.

“YOU SEND THAT DOG BACK RIGHT NOW! STOP MAKING THOSE RBCS HEMOLYZE DAMMIT!” and voila, IMHA is cured. Or, “YOU APPROVE THAT ESTIMATE RIGHT NOW YOU BASTARD!” and the owner approves the surgery rather than taking their cat home with a broken leg. Or, “YOU GIVE ME THAT CUPCAKE RIGHT NOW!” and the lady at the cupcake store hands it over, as opposed to calling the cops.

But my feet tread on terra firma as opposed to the wispy unicorny dream realm of Shonda Rimes’ imagination, so despite the steady cacophony of yelling in my head, in these situations I can only purse my lips, glare at the wall, and take on the world the old fashioned way.

Filed: Blog, Daily Life, Musings
  • http://www.nannymcfur.blogspot.com Nanny McFur

    from your mouth to God’s ears – lol

  • Lisa W

    Maybe THAT’S what I did wrong when Bailey was so sick — I just asked while I was crying, I didn’t yell. Well, now we know! (Yes, I watch Grey’s and Provate Practice because it’s pure escapsim for the most part. Although, if you’ve been watching PP, Charlotte’s storyline has been great.)

  • Tabitha W

    I think we have all begged the universe at one point in time. Too bad direct requests are not always answered, however, that does not mean that the universe wont send you something, even if it is just peace.

  • Sedna

    “There was a part where a guy was crashing, a guy that they really wanted to save, and Bailey starts yelling at the sky. “YOU DON’T GET HIM, YOU BASTARD!! YOU SEND HIM BACK RIGHT NOW!” or something to that effect.”

    This is both why I stopped watching ER and why I don’t watch Gray’s Anatomy- despite having good friends who really enjoy the shows. Maybe it’s from working in a hospital myself, but at about the second or third melodramatic, sanity-bending event (I’m looking at you, helicopter that fell on Romano!) I say the hell with it and move on.

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      I forgot about that. That was the shark jumper for me.

  • Sedna

    …Which is not to say that those direct, insane, sanity-bending events don’t happen from time to time. When I’ve experienced them, though, they’ve never been exciting or successful or thrilling; they’ve been awful, they’ve been things you turn away from in instinctive horror. It feels (to me) like crying to the sky for help isn’t- or shouldn’t- be a dramatic punctuation to an event; it’s the last desperate appeal of someone who realizes that they are standing on the precipice of terrible loss.

    I’m sorry, that got long and elaborate. It’s been a hard week here.

  • http://www.longislandvet.net Long Island Vet

    ahah last nights episode was great

  • Megan

    I like to place my hands upon a patient, concentrate really hard, then yell “BE HEALED!” ;)

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      How’s that working for you? :D

  • Heather

    I prefer JD from Scrubs’ approach “we need a box of kittens! STAT!”. then his patient is miraculously cured by the power of kittens.

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      I would like to keep a box nearby for just such an emergency.

  • k

    OMG- Sedna, Thank You! Helicopter falling on romano made me laugh for weeks! Haven’t thought about that in years. It was just. so. ridiculous.
    But yet I keep watching them all to escape my own grey life (ha ha bad pun intended) Charlotte King, you rock.

  • http://greyhoundgardens.blogspot.com/ Terri Jacobson

    Been there, done that. Way too many times.

    I am so glad I stumbled across your blog. I love your style.

    When my children were young, the pediatrician was my best friend. Now the kids are grown and I keep the pedestal that I have placed my vets on polished at all times. Yup, now my vets are my most prized connection. They keep my pups going.

  • http://www.theacreofmisfits.blogspot.com Cherie

    I found this blog through the Saturday Pet Bloggers Hop. Being an owner of 9 dogs and 6 cats it’s interesting to read your posts. You tell it like it is. I will be following you through my rss feed. Have a great day!

  • http://rashelleworkman.blogspot.com/ RaShelle

    LOL – If only … the yelling and the swearing would do the trick. Life would be so much different. But, as you say, we live in the real world … Still isn’t that why we like TV, novels, movies even, so we can escape the real world? I know I do.

    Thanks for making me laugh. ;D

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      Oh yes, it would be a dreadful show if it were real. 8 hours of people with sore throats sitting around complaining about the wait.

  • http://www.lillij.wordpress.com Opie

    You are hilarious. My mom is still laughing. What’s Greys anatomy? My mom is still laughing. Are there dogs in it. I only watch shows with dogs in it. Maybe a cat! Otherwise it’s good stuff to nap to.
    My mom says she’ll be back after the blog hop to check you out again.

    I don’t know about you.. My mom says you’re a vet. The last time I went the Vet did rude things to me and stuck me with a needle…. of course there were yummy treats there.

    Do you give treats?

    Your Pal, Opie
    Opie’s Mom’s Blog

    • http://www.pawcurious.com Dr. V

      Of course we give treats! Piles of treats! Only to good pups though, or at least ones who try to be good.