5 am: Rise and Shine! There’s a balloon in the living room I need to bark at!
7 am: Seriously, these people are lagging. GET UP! GEEEEET UP! I will BREATHE HEAVILY IN YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU WAKE UP AND FEED ME
8 am: The neighbors are moving away?? This is distressing. I really really like talking to their 2 labradors every morning at 6. Oh well, better go stare at the movers and growl out the window.
8:30: food food food yaay it’s food food food
10 am: What is this birthday party nonsense they keep talking about? Whatever it is, I don’t like it. Maybe if I steal this ribbon that looks like it’s supposed to go on that package and run around a bit they won’t be able to go.
1 pm: Walk? Did someone say WALK? walkwalkwalkwalkwalk I love to walkwalkwalkwalk Oh no- that Gentle Leader thing? *sigh* Fine, I guess I will have to behave.
2 pm: Drink a gallon of water. Snooze.
4 pm: Koa and I have discovered the one with the long hair doesn’t know how to grill properly. If Koa distracts her while she’s holding the hot dog just so, and I “accidentally” bump her in the back of the knees, down it goes onto the ground and into my gullet. Ha! Managed to get her twice!
4:15: Banished to the kitchen until grilling done. Rats.
5 pm: Caught the cat sneaking a sip of a mojito. He must be punished. I will chase him two laps around the living room, one for each lick.
5:30 pm: foodfoodfoodfood Can I get some foodfoodfoodfoodfood Will spin for foodfoodfood
6 pm: Eat a marker, just because. Bark at the balloon some more, but just kind of half-heartedly.
7 pm: 7 already? Time to drop a slobbery tennis ball on the guy’s lap. He loves that game.
9 pm: Another successful day! Time to crash, snoring loudly the entire time.