Pawcurious: With Pet Lifestyle Expert and Veterinarian Dr. V.

It’s Bad Poetry Friday: Emails and spam

This is what happens when you leave me alone in the first rainstorm of the year with a bottle of port, a pile of Dr. Seuss books, and a backlog of emails asking, asking, asking, asking for me to once again be a Nice Veterinary Writer/ Pet Blogger and do some more free work. Mostly, it’s just a silly Friday I need to Apologize to Dr. Seuss Once Again kind of post. I dedicate it to all of you who know this feeling all too well.

 E-Mails and Spam

I’m Dr. V.

Dr. V is me.

That Dr. V!

That Dr. V!

She likes to write,

That Dr. V.

I do not like

to write for free.

So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.

Would you write

for some treats?

I do not want to write for leashes,

I do not want to write for treatses.

I do not want to write for free,

So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.

 Think you might?

We are huge, with tons of fans,

But we can’t pay, still, think you can?

I do not want to please your readers

Or to help you sell your feeders.

I do not want to write for free,

So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.

Feed it! Feed it! To your brood!

Could you? Should you?

For a book?

Read it! Read it! On your nook!

I would not, could not, for some food,

I know you think I’m being rude,

I do not want books to review,

My free moments number few.

I do not want to write for free,

So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.

I know you like to cover puppies.

Here’s our product helping puppies.

Write about our site for puppies?

We value your advanced vocation,

So donate! For no compensation!

I will not, thrill not, about your puppies,

They’re cute, for sure, those little muppies.

But I too, have a job to do

And mouths to feed, and loans still new.

I do not want to write for free,

So please don’t ask, Love, Dr. V.

I sure do like that you respect,

My time and schooling, I detect

You value this as my career

And that I can’t be in arrears.

I do so like to write for fees!

I’m glad to do it. Love, Dr. V.

The Hairy Hambone in: GUILTY!

By now I’m assuming many of you have seen Denver the Guilty dog. If not, it’s worth it.

The behaviorists will tell you, over and over again: Stop anthropomorphizing your pets. They do not feel shame or guilt.

I don’t know about that. For all the protesting that dogs forget what naughty things they did 5 seconds after committing the crime, that these intelligent beings simply disavow all knowledge and memory of their actions and are merely responding to our own disapproval, I know of way too many dogs like little Denver above who seem to embody just the opposite.

“They are just responding to your disapproval!” is the standard line. But what if you aren’t exhibiting any disapproval since you had no idea a crime was committed? Brody is the king of tipping his hand. No matter how happy or excited I am to see him, if he’s done something wrong his remorse wracked posturing gives him away. In fact, that’s the main reason I know to go hunting for some destroyed item or eaten delicacy.

And with that, I present the sequel to the Hairy Hambone: GUILTY!

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The Hairy Hambone

As you may have heard, this weekend marked the annual Comic-Con. What this means in practice is that over 100,000 of the world’s hardiest hardcore nerds descend upon our fair city, bringing with them their finest Storm Trooper costumes and zombie paraphernalia.

Each year my husband, a lifelong attendee, takes this opportunity to bring out his dusty boxes of comics from his youth to flip through them and figure out if any of them are worth anything. They never are.

In honor of this festive event, I am unveiling the very first Brody graphic novel: Introducing…

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