Lost in translation

In the urn post, some of you said that you didn’t feel a need to have your loved ones’ ashes back. I get that. I mean, it’s just soot and shadows and memories. Nothing of what made them what they are remains.

Emmett had a big red mane like a lion. He was the most huggable dog I’ve ever met. I spent hours with my face buried in his neck- studying for board exams, seeking solace, or just hanging out. You can’t do that with a hard edged box.

He used to be waiting for me by the door every day.

He spent the afternoons curled up on the overstuffed couch. We chased him off it for a few years, then stopped bothering.

He and Mulan can still hang out in their favorite place, the living room.


This sucks.

Filed: Blog, Cancer sucks, Daily Life, Picks of the Litter Tagged: , ,
  • Megumi

    It absolutely sucks… and even though it’s not the same, I’m glad he’s home with you and Mulan.

    Many ((hugs)) for you, Dr. V.

  • Chile

    It does suck. I still kiss Blade four times every night before I go to bed. It’s not the same as burying my face on his if I pretend hard enough, it’s almost like it could be real. But I also pretend it’s his ears that I’m rubbing when in reality they are really Cookie’s.

    I do have one of those pendants that you’re supposed to put the ashes in but I chose to put some of his hair in there. Because his hair was everywhere and it was a constant struggle to keep the mini-Rotties down. And you could tell you got a Blade drive-by due to the amount of hair clinging to your clothes.

    I’m so sorry Jess. *hugs*

    • Having another dog around is helpful. I spent a lot of time at work ‘borrowing’ other people’s dogs for extra rubs and hugs.

      • Chile

        Doggie kisses always help chase the sadness away.

  • Nicole

    If it offended you, I truly didn’t mean for it to D: I really do get that other people do find that a helpful part of the grieving process.

    Can I just say that that picture of Mulan in a dress is adorable? And exactly the sort of “lol happy” picture I’d want to have around after I lost a pet?

    • I’m not offended at all. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kim

    {{{crappy internet hugs}}}

  • Sara

    My persian “Murphy” stopped eating and went from 9.5 to 6.8 lbs so fast Im still not exactly sure what happened. Sub Q fluids and liquid food forced into his mouth several times a day for a few weeks to no avail. His ashes are still in the ugly flowered metal box they sent him in but I have an 8 x 10 extreme close up of his face smack in the middle of my fridge door that I stare at several times a day. I remember with great detail exactly what it felt like to pet his face and his smell. I hope I always do.

  • Kim

    Meant to mention – there’s a montage site called One True Media that does a ton of features for free (a lot more for $3 a month). It helped me to collect happy photos and videos. You can upload your own songs or choose theirs. Of course for Bail I chose “What A Wonderful World”. It was a project that helped turn my focus back to what was good.

    • That is EXACTLY what I was looking for!! Thank you!!

  • Jamie

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has taken a picture of the box.


    This is what I have up on the wall in our living room to keep Chase around though. (we also have B/W 8x10s of our two current dogs next to it.)

    Big hugs to you!!!

    • Chase was so handsome, Jamie. I love that picture.

      • Jamie

        Thank you. He had the softest ears! That is what I miss most about him, even though our Husky is SUPER soft, nothing compared to Chase’s ears. I just have to add a picture of Chase smiling, even though he was sick, you never would have known, except for his shaved belly from the splenectomy, until a day before he passed when he got really sick. Sigh. I miss my boy, even 6 months later.


        • Chile

          He was so beautiful Jamie. I just wanted to let you know that you’re in my thoughts, I know how hard it is. I’m facing the two year anniversary of losing my Rottie and it’s so hard. I hope that our boys are playing together.

  • Georgia Jewel

    Kevin is getting too greedy. He just took my other corgi, Elvis, only a month after losing my girl Beau. I am heartbroken but relieved that I made in home from our vacation in time.

    • Oh, no. I am so, so very sorry. That is so heartbreaking. You are in my thoughts.

  • That definitely sucks.
    Hang in there.

  • The picture with the cookie totally broke my heart. My sister lost one of her dogs in April, and I still haven’t.. figured out how to deal with it (he was my dog, too). It’s bittersweet, he was a very abused dog when we got him so I’m glad he at least got to have a family that loved him.

    • I think it’s sometimes even worse when it’s not technically ‘your’ dog, then you aren’t allowed to be sad at all, right? My sister was just about as devastated over Em as I was, but she really had no one to talk to, except me.

  • We have Charlie in a ceramic “urn” that he came home in but we haven’t found anywhere special for him. I should look into that. We buried Miles in the backyard where it gets the most sun – he loved sunbeams like no other animal I’ve seen. We planted an orange tree next to him. Sure, he won’t always be with us because we’ll move, but that tree will go on long after we’re gone. I do have a picture of him as a kitten prominently displayed in the living room. I sometimes get teary eyed and will just go talk to him and tell him I miss him.

  • I moved shortly after having to put my kitty down this past June, and I’m kind of glad I did… there wasn’t the constant reminder of where he should have been, ya know? I mean, I have that same cedar box on my shelf too (only mine doesn’t have Stein’s name on it!) but it sucked so much to get out of the car and not have him sitting there waiting for me on the sidewalk.

    I love what you did with those pics. I really really do.

  • Thanks for sharing. I had to put my pal down a few months back and decided to get his ashes back. I get why folks might not feel it is important, but think it’s a nice tribute when we can do that. My latest addition (another senior pooch) wore his “brother’s” scarf to an interview that we just did.

  • Jackattack

    This blog has helped me so much…..I lost my beloved boxer Jackson Pete shortly after Christmas. I haved moved his ashes from the fireplace mantel to my night stand beside my bed (he slept with me at night). He is in a velvet bag that says “Untill we meet again at the rainbow bridge.”. I could not of imagined not bringing him home. He is where he belongs…..at home with his family. We miss him daily.