Pawcurious Vet Blog: With Pet Blogger and Veterinarian Dr. V

Beware of the Dog

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

The amused stranger inquired, “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

The owner responded, “Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

theres a joke for you. I hope it amuses you although it is kinda cheezy

nice website btw. I do hope I win this contest!

Calvinball is the game played by Calvin and Hobbes where basically there are no rules or reason. Rather, the rules are essentially made up as they go along and at the whim of the player. It is the ultimate anti-game. Gotta love it!

I never miss a day of reading the blog….can’t miss those pictures of Brody that make the rounds!

Awesome, thanks for the contest!

Okay, now for a joke: How can you get two dog trainers to agree on something? Ask them if a third trainer is correct!

I’m sure you’ve heard this one, but:
First-year students at Texas A&M’s Vet school were receiving their first
anatomy class with a real, dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a
white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, ‘In Veterinary
Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The
first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.’
As an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the
butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

‘Go ahead and do the same thing,’ he told his students. The students freaked
out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone
finished, the Professor looked at them and said,

‘The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.’
‘Now, learn to pay attention.”

I also found this one while I was searching the internet trying to find the above joke so I didn’t have to type it all out:

A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.

“I don’t believe you”, she said, “I’d like a second opinion”

The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat
sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.

The vet tells the lady again, “I’m sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be $600 for the exam.”

“$600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?”, she exclaimed.

“$600 is a bargain,” the vet explained. “$50 for me and only $550 for the cat scan and lab work.”

1) This is the 2nd Calvinball reference I’ve read in as many days.

2) Unfortunately, I still haven’t Googled it, to find out what it is.

3) A joke, from my childhood:

A man was walking on the beach, and saw something shiny in the distance. He ran to it, picked it up, and polished it on his sleeve.

*** POOF *** Out popped a Genie.

The Genie said, “Thank you so much for freeing me from that magic lantern! I’ve been in there for years! In my appreciation, I will grant you 3 wishes. Remember, be careful what you wish for!”

The man said, “1st, I wish for a hundred million dollars.”

*** POOF *** There sat a hundred million dollars.

The man said, “Thank you so much! My 2nd wish, is for a really fancy car – a red one, with a convertible top!”

*** POOF *** Before he knew it, the man was driving down the highway in a shiny new convertible.

Then, a commercial came on the radio, and the man started to sing along…

“Oooooh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner…”

*** POOF!!! ***

In honor of my dislike of silly designer breed names.

When good dogs crossbreed:
Pointer + Setter =
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier =
Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund =
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso =
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel =
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever =
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound =
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog =
Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador =
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer =
Moot Point, owned by….oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway

Collie + Malamute =
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier =
Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end

Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller =
Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband

Bull Terrier + Shitzu =
Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed