Appearance is everything

by | Wednesday | March 3, 2010 | 19 comments

After Emmett died, some of the hardest times for me were the quiet nights when my husband was out of town on business. Besides the companionship (yes, that was the only time he was allowed on the bed), I missed the comfort of having a fluffy, well-attuned barking machine keeping a keen eye and ear out for me 24/7.

Emmett had a deeeeeeep bark. It wasn’t a “ruff“, it was a WOOF. Sometimes, when a persistent salesperson was at the door and his lack of better training was apparent as he was trying to rush out between my legs, they would look dubiously at me and ask if he bit. If it was a Girl Scout, I’d smile and introduce them. If it was one of those annoying people selling magazines, I’d shrug non-committally and eye him ominously.

Now if you ever met Emmett, you’d know the biggest risk to your health was getting knocked over while he leaned on you for rubs, but they didn’t know that, right? And I had no desire to disavow them, or any unwanted interloper, of that belief.

At the end of the day, should someone actually break in, I’m pretty sure Emmett would have been useless other than as a warning system or deterrent. But that is a powerful thing in and of itself, and it helped me sleep easier.

Brody’s had the bark of an old dude since he was 12 weeks old. It scares the living daylights out of the uninitiated. I don’t mind, though I make it a point to emphasize to the UPS guy it’s all show just in case Brody somehow gets out since I heard those guys might be packing tasers at some point.

Koa….Koa barks like a 10 pound Lhasa. All I can hope for in her case is catching someone with the element of surprise when that tiny voice ends up emanating from an 80 pound shadow.

Who am I kidding- these guys are totally useless from a defense standpoint. What I really need to do is build a nice moat around the house, with a few arrow holes for good measure. I wonder if the HOA would be OK with that.

Filed: Blog
  • http://annora.wordpress.com Tassia

    Chewy doesn’t bark at people, she just tries to barrel them over for kisses. Her favourite time of day is when the delivery guy from Canada Post shows up, the two of them are buddies. I think it’s probably because our house gets a lot of traffic, we always have packages getting delivered, contractors coming by, or just friends who come to hang out. She doesn’t associate the doorbell/knock on the door with strangers, just friends she possibly doesn’t know yet.

    I realize she’d be utterly useless in a defense capacity, but that’s okay with me. I can take care of myself, and woe to the person who tries to cross me or mine, especially if they attempt to harm my animals in any way. Besides, some of our friends are people that criminals wouldn’t want to mess with, we’re a pretty small community and it’s not hard to find out who robbed your house here. Plus, Chewy can be pretty intimidating if you don’t realize she’s overly friendly, 100 lbs of solid muscle flying towards you is bound to scare the uninitiated.

  • Tonya

    We have two labs living down the street from us, and one of them “barks like a girl” too! I have no idea if the lab in question is male or female, but I always think of it as female because it has that same bark you are describing! It’s so funny to see that tiny bark coming out of an 80-pound dog!

  • meredith

    i have a dachshund who sounds like a rottweiler. he also thinks he owns the doors. all bark, no bite. this can be a damper on the social life, but is great for unwanted doorbell ringers. like you said, i just want the warning.

  • wikith

    Back when I was in 4-H one of my friends rode a 17.5-hand warmblood-TB that had a higher-pitched whinny than the 12-hand pony the little kids were riding. We mocked O’Ryan mercilessly.
    Puzzle’s got the perfect bark for an apartment dog – a soft huffing sort of bark, used infrequently. He doesn’t bark at people at the door. The onyl two things that he’s ever done more than a huff or two at have bee the Christmas tree and his e-collar-sporting reflection in our sliding glass door. I would like a more guarding-minded dog someday, but not until we’re in a more autonomous residence so I don’t have to worry about getting complaints from the neighbors.

  • http://breakfastwiththebennetts.blogspot.com Karen Bennett

    Having two boxers in the house does make me feel much better when the hubby is gone. Bella is all bark and then run. Boxen on the other hand has been known to chase the tree trimming guys up a tree when they come in our backyard to trim around power lines and don’t tell me first. I have no fear that Boxen might actaully bite someone that entered the house uninvited. That is if they don’t go running after they hear the shotgun loading. LOL

    Come and visit our blog! Boxen and Bella need some good blog friends!

  • Chile

    Blade had a bark that would scare me sometimes simply because it was so deep and gruff. He was not a dog I would have wanted to meet in a dark alley based on his size and his bark but like Emmett all he cared about were belly rubs and scratches. But his size intimidated people so I never cleared the air with strangers that he was a big baby. I felt much safer with him. And Cookie…her bark would surprise you. It’s very deep. She has this low grumbly sound she does because she goes hog wild. And due to my suspect neighbors, I don’t correct her. When they’ve seen her, they are like “Oh wow a Rott, man! Is it nice?” And I’m letting her bark all crazy and lunge and snarl. Because if they think she’s mean and vicious then by all means maybe they will leave this girl alone. And thankfully she only barks at sounds that are unusual (or the random dog she sees across the creek and greenspace b/c she has deemed it unacceptable for them to be in their yard). So I definitely do feel safer having her around, because she’ll alert me to something I may not hear.

    I wonder if it’s a girl lab thing. My friend’s female yellow lab has a very high pitched almost whiny bark. It will split your eardrums!

  • Kim

    Ally has a ferocious bark. She looks like a JR terrier so strangers tend to fear her because they are known as excitable dogs. She has never done anything more than wag but I tell people she follows my cues (in case anyone had any funny ideas for when I’m not home). Piper’s bark is laughable and she growls like a tribble (Star Trek reference). Whatever I say, I think the truth is they’ll probably run and hide if we weren’t around.

    No moat. We do have a security system including a camera which stores footage to a server and alarm. While the robbery a few doors down seems like an inside job, we’d rather have the detterent visible in addition to the barking and the security system. If anything, they’ll figure it is too much trouble and go somewhere else ;)

  • Melissa

    My Golden Madison has a sissy bark. Now that she has been hanging out with my friends dogs that are German Sheperds and Dobermans she has learned a thing or two about being a guard dog. It is really funny to see her run to the door barking like she is a big bad guard dog but the moment I open it she is a typicall Golden with the wiggly butt and all! :)

  • http://finnspawprint.blogspot.com/ Susan Montgomery

    Finn has a woof, although it has taken a while for him to let any out. I take it as a sign of his growing confidence that he will now woof at delivery people and visitors. It’s a big dog woof, loud, and no-nonsense, and he looks intimidating, but he is a sweetie too.

  • http://dearprudie.wordpress.com Ashley

    Prudence, in all of her 17lb glory, has the meanest, loudest bark I have ever heard come from a small dog. While she doesn’t have the deep bass of a bigger dog, she has definitely terrified her fair share of postal and delivery people. Apparently the word of her has traveled through our local postmen and woman. One morning she and I were out taking care of her business when a new post lady walked up the sidewalk. Prudence did her usual launch to the end of her leash and bark crazily. The post lady laughed and said “You must be Prudence. I thought you’d be bigger.” It was quite hilarious.

  • Miranda

    We have a 70 pound pit bull, he has a deep terrifying bark when he wants to. He also likes to jump up against the screen door when he sees someone coming, he can reach the top of the door, lol. I do the same thing when salespeople or other sketchy people come to the door and then ask if he bites! But as soon as we invite someone into the house he is nothing but kisses. What’s funny is he is the wussiest dog alive, scared of everything possible…plastic bags, napkins, storms, hats, sunglasses, towels, nail clippers, pillows…

    • Chile

      LOL! My male Rottweiler (he was 125 lbs at one point) was like that too. Intimidating to most due to his size and his bark but he was scared of his own shadow!!

  • http://fur-licity.blogspot.com Barbara/Daisy

    10 yr old Daisy has been with me for almost 2 years, and hasn’t barked at all. She lived the first 8 yrs of her life breeding in a puppy mill. I guess that being quiet helped her to survive. It would be nice if she “found her voice”, but what really matters is that she is now safe and cared for. The roles of protection are somewhat reversed in our house! :-)

  • http://www.hiddenexposures.com hidden exposures

    am i the only one that picked up on you calling her “koa”? does that mean “koa” won? hooray! :)

    i am quite happy to let my dog bark his head off at people who come to the door…partially because i like them hearing what sounds like a vicious dog (but isn’t), but also because my dog before him had been sadly debarked by his previous owners. i didn’t find out until after a while that he had been with me as he didn’t try to bark but every now and then would and it was horrific sound. when he had to be anesthetized for a procedure i had the vet look to confirm. so, so, so sad. this was something i had never heard of until i got him. and to think he ended up abandoned anyway by someone (as he had been found as a stray – this is a purebred vizsla)!

    long story short, i won’t let my current dog be outside and bark and bark and annoy the neighbors, but every time he does bark i imagine he is barking for him and for my previous dog. :(

  • Amber

    I love his crimped ear fur ;)

  • K

    Emmett brought the thunder when it mattered… he unleashed that woof with intent when we got rushed on a walk once, and the offending dog stopped in its tracks, peed, and ran. Miss you Buddy!

  • lawgeekgurl

    never underestimate the power of a good barking deterrent! My late Obie doggie (Shepherd/Dobie characterized as “a Collie mix” by the Humane Society when I got him as a baby – aha ha ha aha ha ha – no, he was huge. He might have had Collie in him somewhere cuz his snoot was long and pointed) was the sweetest (and most timid) dog in the history of ever, but sounded fierce with his deep bark. I remember once the cable guy came and was afeared of him and made a point of asking a few times “does he bite?” when he first arrived but by the time he was mid-service call, he was startled and looked down to see Obie butting him on the knee with the edge of his squeaky monkey toy, asking for play. That kind of killed the whole “fierce guard dog” impression.

  • Jeanne

    my terv is the biggest baby and thinks are people are his biggest fans. he goes berserk when someone comes to the door, but once it’s opened he’s all wags and kisses – but strangers don’t know that. it cracks me up when people see us walking down the street and cross to avoid walking by the scary dog.

  • macula_densa

    Raisin (hey, I was 10) was the black lab I grew up with. She loved everybody and was a perpetual puppy. You would never expect her to be that great a watchdog. However, one night we had a prowler who climbed over the fence to our back yard. My mother knew she was barking at something and let her out, only to discover there was a man there. Raisin proceeded to run up to him, jump, and rip his shirt off of him.

    He climbed right back over the fence. We never questioned her watchdog capabilities ever again.

    Summer, on the other hand, ran up and kissed the drunk intruder that walked into our house at 4 a.m. looking for his flip flops. Maybe she just knew he was an idiot and not malicious… at least, that’s what I’d rather think. o_O