Apollo’s been looking exceptionally mangy lately. It happens whenever he’s been getting into the foods he shouldn’t have, which is pretty much all of them.
I do the best I can, but with the household we have, it is pretty much impossible to keep all foods out of reach of all animals at all times. There are dogs eating, kids snacking, people munching at all hours of the day, and all it takes is one forgotten nugget for Apollo to go temporarily bald. This despite the fact that he feasts on venison and duck every day. It’s never enough.
The dogs never leave food out to be stolen, so I don’t worry about them. My husband, well, he’s 50/50 on whether he puts dishes away. My kids know the rules about putting things up when they are done with them, but being 6 and 4, well, things happen. It is just one of a long list of ways in which I am not perfect.
Tonight I saw Apollo’s head peeking over the dining room table a few minutes after the kids had departed, and I spun around in time to see the remnants of a fish stick disappearing over the precipice of the table. With the clock ticking and only seconds to interrupt the ingestion of the time bomb, I sprung into action.
Have you ever tried to catch a cat with contraband? It’s impossible. Not to say I didn’t try. I ran, I blocked, around the table, up the stairs, behind the couch, eventually resorting to lobbing socks trying to get him to drop the stupid thing. Of course once he wedged himself under the couch, he had the 3 uninterrupted seconds it took to gulp it down, that, or he left a half eaten fishstick under the couch. I suppose I will know for sure one way or another in the next day or two.
Now while this was all going on, my neighbor had invited herself over (as she is wont to do) for a snack, and was watching this with interest from the kitchen. In the heat of the moment I had entirely forgotten she was there. Having spared her the long and sordid medical histories of my animals, she had no idea Apollo had food allergies and was completely flummoxed as to why I was yelling “DROP IT, YOU SON OF A BISCUIT!” or something along those lines while attempting in vain to tackle him.
I came downstairs a couple minutes later, winded and annoyed. “You really wanted your son to finish his dinner, eh?” she said knowingly. Then she leaned in. “It’s just a fish stick hon. It won’t kill him.”
And I leaned back and said, ” But I might I know.”
What is it about a cat that LOVES to make us look like a fool?! A dog at least has the decency to look at us with huge eyes that say “I’m soooo sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking!” Gotta say, while I have been there, Dr. V, chasing my own cat across the living room, I was laughing my slippers off at the picture in my head! (Oh, and rest assured, Apollo has eaten the entire fish stick, so as to make a larger bald spot and look MORE pathetic!)
He’s been licking his feet all afternoon. Yep, stick ingested.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! My cat once ran away with a whole piece of ham on a dinner guests plate. I hope he is going to be ok.
Fortunately, while I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for him he doesn’t get infected or painful, just itchy. *sigh* lol about the ham!
What a hilarious story! I can see this playing out in my mind. Hope this doesn’t affect Apollo *too* much!
Neither of the two cats who have owned me in my lifetime have been “people food” cats. Weird, huh? I could offer up a piece of salmon or a piece of tasty roasted chicken, and they just turn up their noses and walk away.
That is weird! But of course if they were allergic they’d love it.
Just out of curiosity, do you ever give Apollo real duck to chew on? When we suspected our dog was allergic to chicken, I used to go occasionally to Chinatown and pick up a fresh duck (yes, with head and feet), trim some of the fat and chop it into quarters and toss it in the freezer. Then I’d thaw it out and let her have some fresh meat. A whole duck might be too much, but maybe give him a duck leg.
I’ve given him venison (treats and the occasional fresh raw food) but I’ve never tried duck. He’d love it, I bet.
Oh, this made me laugh. I don’t have a cat at the moment, but we had several growing up. One in particular (Tarzan) had a penchant for making off with anything left on the table or counter for more than a minute or two. I can recall my very quiet Presbyterian mother shouting at him after he stole a chicken leg or something like that – “you jacka** cat!”
Nothing like a little cat mischief to bring out the language in even the quietest person! lol!
The other night my Daughter and Son-in-Law came to supper and after we ate we were sitting at the table visiting and all of a sudden my husband yelled “Dude get your head out of there! Get him out of there will you!” Yep there was one of our cats, like he had been invited to eat at the table, with his head in the noodle bowl. Then my husband was like you are going to have to throw those out now! I thought a little about that before I did throw the noodles out though. I thought there is no telling how much food that has been tasted in this house by the 4 legged family members that we don’t know about. HMMMMMM, something to think about.
Oh, I’m sure. I can only imagine. I caught him trying to sneak a lick of some 7 layer dip today while I was up getting a glass of water. 7 layer dip. This is the weirdest cat ever.
Our younger cat, with allergies & on a dry food diet, is constantly hovering over our older cat as she eats her yummy moist food. We have to monitor it endlessly and the pig licks up every last remnant of moist tasties that she can find. Fortunately (?), her allergies are expressed as vomiting.
Her single experiment with non-tuna people food was as a kitten: she wanted to check out the spaghetti we were eating on the couch. She launched herself across the couch, running through BOTH of our plates. One orange cat & 2 hysterically laughing humans later, she cares not for our stuff.
I have this awesome mental image of a spaghetti covered cat dragging sauce all over the couch. Ah, life with pets!
Hi Dr. V.,
Our young vet, also a mother with a dog with allergies at home, has adopted 3 cats and they live in the vet office…:) They have free run of the office. The office manager says the dog patients don’t mind them. Only one cat has appointed himself “official greeter”…maybe he hides if a killer dog shows up. I’ve had other vets over the years who kept a cat in the office, but none ever showed during office hours like “the greeter”.
My rambling point is, perhaps Apollo might (hate) (like?) living in the vet office until the kids get a little more mature. On the other hand…the food situation might be worse there. 🙂
BrownDog’s Momma
You know, for all of the marking and the food stealing and all of that, I really do love the little guy. I think he’d be miserable around so many other animals!
You know.. You’ve just brought deeply repressed memories of a Thanksgiving Dinner Turkey (cooked) running about the house with a dog attached to it. The VERY FIRST family dinner I ever hosted ! At least we can look back and laugh right?
Oh no!! Was this before or after you all got a chance to eat it?
Brings back memories of our dog stealing steak off broiler pan on oven door, mom chasing him through the house, yelling “give me that d— steak”, my son and I are in a fit of laughter. She managed to get the steak and my son says, you are eating that one.
Such a funny story! Now I’m remembering when one of our dogs stole a freshly caught fish when my uncle brought it home. Sounds like everyone has a story along these lines!