I remember when DNA tests first became routine in crime scene investigations. It was groundbreaking. Murders decades old being solved, sinister crimes committed by evildoing masterminds brought to justice by the tiniest speck of blood. Those sure were the days.
Now, we use DNA to bust people for not cleaning up after their dogs. How far we have come.
Sherlock Bones is on the case.
I wonder at this, though. I am guessing most people neglect to clean up after their dogs out of sheer laziness and the notion that they probably won’t get caught. If you have to submit a dog swab when you move in, knowing the CSI team is after you if you don’t clean up after your dog, you wouldn’t be dumb enough to just let the dog go out there anyway, would you? Or maybe that is the point.
Based on their one testimonial, I’m guessing the deterrent is the main benefit. I looked at the PooPrints website- yes, that really exists- and while there are no costs listed, it does say that apartment managers have a database of all the pets on the property, so they create a “genetic profile” of every pet based on a cheek swab. I have no idea how exacting their science is, or how they build such a database in a cost effective way, or what happens if cousin Joey’s off the database visiting bulldog is the offender. I guess they are… out of luck.
It doesn’t hurt anyone to do this, though, and I’m all for property managers doing this as an effective enticement for good behavior instead of just refusing to allow pets in the complex. Weren’t we just talking yesterday about getting more creative about ways to deal with people exhibiting offensive behaviors directly as opposed to penalizing an entire group?
So with that in mind, I say, bring on the cheek swabs! Maybe my HOA can get one to figure out what blasted dog owner is allowing his pet to foul my front lawn every morning. Better yet, just let me have my own two dogs profiled, so I can prowl around the house like a crime scene investigator every time a bag of CET chews gets broken into or a shoe homicide takes place. That would be awesome.
What say you? What do you think of pet DNA tests?