I had this whole long serious post about the topic of owner relinquishments and why they were always a nightmare to deal with, but I got sidetracked from my mission when every single media outlet I could find that was talking about the case in question used, in some form or another, the word “euthanization.”
I’ve been seeing it in headlines in print and on the web with increasing frequency the last couple of years and it always makes my irises spasm with pain. Euthanasia, to euthanize: those two phrases pretty much cover all the uses of the word one might need. “Euthanization” is an unnecessary addition of letters that makes it sound like a horribly named indie alternative band. I want to find the person who first started using this word and banish them to the same desert island where the guy who coined the word “spaded” was sent in the late 1970′s.
The hardest part is, you can’t really correct someone when they have it wrong because then you’re the jerk who’s correcting someone who is talking about euthanasia- so all I can do is try a pre-emptive strike while everyone is in a quiet contemplative mood, and just insert it into your subconscious to please never say it around me.
So here, for 2012, is the new and updated list of things that hit my eardrums like nails on a chalkboard:
* spaded: Spayed. One syllable.
* vetranarian: veterinarian. Six syllables.
* payment plan: Six syllables: Plans to pay, for first month.
* spider bite: Could be staph, might be a laceration, very rarely an actual spider bite.
* Just noticed it yesterday: Just started bleeding yesterday.
New for 2012!
* euthanization: A nation I do not want to visit.
Don’t get me wrong, if I were to hear any of these in an exam room I would politely nod and go about my business, because that’s what you’re supposed to do. But on the inside, there is a bespectacled little neuron sitting morosely at a desk in my frontal lobe, quietly weeping.