When I was in college, I worked for a very prestigious urologist. I think most of you remember that. The Viagra researcher from Beverly Hills. Anyway, he had a beautiful office in Santa Monica, a home in Beverly Hills, and as a pre-eminent ED expert he was flown to male sexual dysfunction conferences all over the world, you know, Bora Bora, Fiji, Reykjacik, where he would stand flanked by, and I’m not joking, two enormous blue pillars and talk about how Viagra would change the world. (Well, he was right on that count.)
When I told him I wanted to go to vet school, he laughed at me. He asked why anyone would want to roll around in bales of hay when they could be human doctors and roll in dough. Then he said, and he was dead serious, that there were no female sexual dysfunction experts out there and if I hurried up, we could team up and be the Dysfunction Duo and conquer the world.
And then it was my turn to laugh. Can you imagine? I mean, I can’t imagine. I would rather spend the rest of my life palpating cow ovaries in a frigid barn than…well, do whatever you want with the rest of the sentence there. I think we all know my point. My point is, life could have taken a much different turn but things are fine and dandy here, thanks.
Besides, I get to travel. We all know the long standing rumor about pet food companies sending veterinarians to Hawaii, which I’m not against per se, but I pretty much know all the pet food companies now and NONE of them have plants there. I’ve suggested it, though. In the meantime, I’ve gotten to go to some very sexy pet food locations like Mason, Ohio; St. Louis, Missouri; and Topeka, Kansas. And next week- hold on to your shorts- I’m going to OMAHA.
Yes, next week I’m going to tour the Natura plant, which manufactures Innova, Evo, and California Natural- three brands, by the way, that I’ve deigned to include in my dog food rotation, so I am very excited to see the facility and see what they have to say.
It’s a good time to go, what with all the stories in the news about the Diamond recall (which this brand is not affiliated with.) I’ll ask any sorts of questions you want, about how they were affected by the merger with Procter and Gamble, about their manufacturing safety record, their thoughts on recalls, sourcing domestically versus internationally, you name it. I like getting into the details and learning how companies work, and I think those that have chosen to be transparent with independent media such as bloggers are doing the right thing.
I know that as long as I write about pet food I will end up going to places where pet food is made, which tends to not be those sorts of places with oceanfront property. But that’s OK, because- and I’m not even joking- I really would like to see Nebraska. I have my boots ready and everything.
So what do you all want me to ask? I leave Tuesday.