Brodo

Thank you for all the congratulations! I’m still reeling a bit myself. Normally I’m against surprising anyone with a puppy, but when that anyone is me, and I’ve been lamenting my dog deficiency since January, I’ll make an exception.

I tried to come up with a list of things that would surprise me more than my husband showing up with a Golden puppy this weekend. There isn’t much.

• My husband joining the priesthood
• My husband getting into the space program
• My husband renouncing his Chargers fandom to become a Raiders fan

All things that fall into the realm of very, very unlikely. I was well and truly shocked, which is hard to do because I am one of those people that it is very hard to surprise because I’m nosy. My husband’s cover story, the bike ride, caused no shortage of grief since I sat him down and explained to him in depth the concerns I had for him, and made him take lots of electrolytes and Gu and granola bars. He had to get up extra early to hide his bicycle, pack his helmet, and go to Fullerton.

I woke up long enough to ask him why he wasn’t in his biking clothes.

“We’re changing there,” he said. “Go back to bed.”

He is a saint for putting up with me.

Anyway, as I stood there with my hands to my face, shaking and crying like a beauty pageant winner, my kids immediately jumped into the car, hugged the dog, and started grilling me on names.

“How about Cutie?” asked my daughter. As you may recall, this was also her suggestion for the doomed guinea pig. This was nixed.

“Oooh! Oh! I know! Let’s name him Lucky! Can we name him Lucky?”

As my husband burst into laughter and I stood there horrified, I realized I had better nip this in the bud and declare a name lest things get out of hand. I had no time to ponder his personality, no time to think on Christmas specials past and cute double entendres and esoteric movie references.

“His name is Brody,” I blurted, for no apparent reason. The only Brody I know of is Brody Jenner, and I don’t actually know anything about him other than the fact that he exists, and is somewhat of a Z-list celebrity. Brody sounds like a surfer dude name. Brody sounds mellow and chill and a guy who lives on the beach talking about the perfect wave.

I tried to think of a wittier reason to make up to tell you all, but I can’t think of one. It was that or Lucky, and considering my feelings on the topic I think just about anything that came out of my mouth would have been OK.

For reasons unknown, my daughter has taken to calling him “Brodo.” She has never seen Lord of the Rings. My husband thinks she is extra-cool for that.