Pawcurious: With Veterinarian and Author Dr. V

Celebrating the truth that pets make people better.

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Win some free stuff!

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My original intent was to use any ad revenue from this site for giveaways. Well, no one wants a $2.50 gift certificate to anywhere (I have to come up with a better setup there) but in the meantime, I have to celebrate all the amazingness that is the people reading my blog so off we go! Thanks everyone. You all make my day every day. 😀

Win a $50 Gift Certificate to Planet Dog!

I have no relation to this store, other than someone on Facebook suggested it and they have a great online store of eco-friendly products, treats, and other delights. I’ll send the winner a $50 e-certificate directly redeemable at the Planet Dog website.

Biodegradable business bags? Sweet.

I’m actually pretty sure I am going to buy this magnetic dog poetry. I do love haiku.

But what am I saying? I’m the only person in the universe guaranteed not to win this contest, so who cares what I like. You, on the other hand, can win.

I’ll even give you three ways:

1. Comment below. You don’t have to pick a favorite item or do any work, you can just comment “.” if you want, BUT if you tell me a joke- a good one- I’ll give you an extra entry.

2. If you’re a fan on Facebook, comment on the link to this blog post on my wall.

3. If you follow me on twitter, tweet the contest @pawcurious #contest with a link to this post. ( If you don’t put @pawcurious #contest in your tweet I won’t be able to find you!)

One entry per category, except for the aforementioned extra joke category and anything else that strikes my fancy. My rules are kind of like Calvinball, and the first person to correctly identify THAT reference gets an extra entry as well.

I will put them all in a big bucket and let my three year old pick the winner on Saturday.

Easy as pie. kerrilw on Twitter already has an extra entry just for being Facebook fan #200, so you all have some catching up to do! Off you go! Contest open through Saturday at noon PST.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Beware of the Dog

    Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

    He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

    “Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

    The amused stranger inquired, “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

    The owner responded, “Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

    theres a joke for you. I hope it amuses you although it is kinda cheezy 😛

    nice website btw. I do hope I win this contest!

  4. Calvinball is the game played by Calvin and Hobbes where basically there are no rules or reason. Rather, the rules are essentially made up as they go along and at the whim of the player. It is the ultimate anti-game. Gotta love it!

  5. Sweet! I’m a sucker for a dog blog. Looking forward to checking it out. I need to find an extra large dog door that can be secure at night. Suggestions?

  7. This is a real oldie, but it still makes me laugh. 🙂

    “How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?”

    Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

    Border Collie: Just one. And I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

    Dachshund: I can’t reach the stupid lamp!

    Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

    Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

    Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

    Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

    Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

    Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.

    Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there…

    Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

    Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

    /Brody is SO adorable. You must be such a proud mommy!

    • I’m so sorry about Willow, and so happy for you for Xander. I know what you mean about moving on. They never replace the ones you lost, but they do help your heart heal.

    • Usually I don’t reply to other people’s comments, but seeing a fellow Buffy fan, I felt I should extend my sympathies. I’m really sorry for your loss.

  10. I’m having a lousy dayso I can’t think of any jokes but I’m thrilled to have told you about Planet Dog.

  13. Dr. V, I don’t wish to be placed in the contest, just wanted to say GOOD LUCK to everyone else! 🙂

  14. Darn. I so knew the Calvin reference. I guess it won’t help my case to celebrate that there ain’t no hole in the washtub?

  16. Awesome, thanks for the contest!

    Okay, now for a joke: How can you get two dog trainers to agree on something? Ask them if a third trainer is correct!

  17. Awesome website. I’m not a vet, but I have a dog and a cat, so we see ours regularly. Thanks for writing!

  18. I’m sure you’ve heard this one, but:
    First-year students at Texas A&M’s Vet school were receiving their first
    anatomy class with a real, dead cow.

    They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a
    white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, ‘In Veterinary
    Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The
    first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.’
    As an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the
    butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

    ‘Go ahead and do the same thing,’ he told his students. The students freaked
    out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
    finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone
    finished, the Professor looked at them and said,

    ‘The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.’
    ‘Now, learn to pay attention.”

    I also found this one while I was searching the internet trying to find the above joke so I didn’t have to type it all out:

    A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.

    “I don’t believe you”, she said, “I’d like a second opinion”

    The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat
    sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.

    The vet tells the lady again, “I’m sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be $600 for the exam.”

    “$600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?”, she exclaimed.

    “$600 is a bargain,” the vet explained. “$50 for me and only $550 for the cat scan and lab work.”

  19. I love your blog! Your stories make me laugh and cry, sometimes all at the same time ” )

    Bert took his Golden Retriever to the vet.

    “Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

    The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

    “Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”

  20. 1) This is the 2nd Calvinball reference I’ve read in as many days.

    2) Unfortunately, I still haven’t Googled it, to find out what it is.

    3) A joke, from my childhood:

    A man was walking on the beach, and saw something shiny in the distance. He ran to it, picked it up, and polished it on his sleeve.

    *** POOF *** Out popped a Genie.

    The Genie said, “Thank you so much for freeing me from that magic lantern! I’ve been in there for years! In my appreciation, I will grant you 3 wishes. Remember, be careful what you wish for!”

    The man said, “1st, I wish for a hundred million dollars.”

    *** POOF *** There sat a hundred million dollars.

    The man said, “Thank you so much! My 2nd wish, is for a really fancy car – a red one, with a convertible top!”

    *** POOF *** Before he knew it, the man was driving down the highway in a shiny new convertible.

    Then, a commercial came on the radio, and the man started to sing along…

    “Oooooh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner…”

    *** POOF!!! ***

  21. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

    NACHO CHEESE. 🙂

    love your blog, Dr. V! And love Brody, what an doll!

  22. In honor of my dislike of silly designer breed names.

    When good dogs crossbreed:
    Pointer + Setter =
    Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

    Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier =
    Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

    Great Pyrenees + Dachshund =
    Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

    Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso =
    Peekasso, an abstract dog

    Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel =
    Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

    Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever =
    Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

    Newfoundland + Basset Hound =
    Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

    Terrier + Bulldog =
    Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes

    Bloodhound + Labrador =
    Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

    Malamute + Pointer =
    Moot Point, owned by….oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway

    Collie + Malamute =
    Commute, a dog that travels to work

    Deerhound + Terrier =
    Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end

    Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller =
    Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband

    Bull Terrier + Shitzu =
    Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

    • For a slightly more off-color version, my friend and I used to talk about crossing a cocker spaniel and a maltese…

  23. Cookie and I play our own version of Calvinball. It usually ends in me bleeding from her nails. LOL!

    Good quote I came across today when searching for one that was dog related: “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

    Thought it was perfect since many of us had dogs that put one one hell of a fight to stay with us.

  24. Calvinball: the only rule is that you can’t play it the same way twice.
    Joke (and I apologize in advance):
    Two jumper cables walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey! You guys better not start anything!”
    LOVE your blog. Thank you, Dr. V.

  27. First rule of Calvinball is, you do not talk about Calvinball. Er, wait…wrong rules. The rule for Calvinball is that you can never play with the same rules twice. I pulled out my Tenth Anniversary book for the theme song:

    Other kids’ games are all such a bore!
    They’ve gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
    Calvinball is better by far!
    It’s never the same! It’s always bizarre!
    You don’t need a team or a referee!
    You know that it’s great, ’cause it’s named after me!

  28. Woofs from GR’s Morgan & MullyPup 🙂

    Mullys goofy dog jokes :
    Why do dalmations suck at playing hide n’ seek?
    A. cuz’ they are always SPOTTED!

    Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?
    A. too many cheetahs!

    Woof snort >>

    Morgie doesnt have any jokes today – she is in the bathtub sleeping.

    wags to Brody

  29. OK, this is a really, really bad science joke, but I think vets have to take enough chemistry you should get it:

    Two atoms walk into a bar, and one says to the other:
    “uh-oh, I think I dropped an electron”
    “are you sure?”
    “yeah, I’m positive!”

  30. Got Chewy her antibiotics, my dad came to visit and his timing was most fortuitous. He’s absolutely in love with Chewy, so he happily paid to have the vet check her out. It was conjunctivitis, and she’s absolutely fine now.

    Love this site, we got those biodegradable bags, but Chewy doesn’t poop on her walks for some reason. She waits until she’s at home where she can go in the privacy of her own backyard.

  31. ok, here’s is a hilarious joke a friend told me.
    There was a farmer who kept noticing that a bunch of teenagers kept getting in to his watermelons. Wanting to keep them out, he posted a sign that read: Caution: there is a cyanide filled watermelon.
    The next day he went to check on his watermelons and found that they were undisturbed.
    The day after he went to check again and found a reply that said: Now there’s 2!

    Lol. I know, its lame, but it made me laugh so much!

  32. I just found your blog today — it is awesome! I lost my beautiful 12-year-old golden/lab mix on July 4 and I cried over your stories of Emmett. My Bailey had been diagnosed with a mast cell tumor only 6 weeks before she passed, had two surgeries, and seemed to be recovering fine. No one has been able to figure out what happened, but she suddenly had severe weakness in her hind legs, stopped eating, etc. We had scheduled euthanasia for July 5 but she had a short series of seizures and passed away in our arms on the 4th, before we could make it to the emergency vet. It has been a terrible thing to go through, so my heart goes out to you with regard to Emmett. I also now have a new puppy to keep my 2-year-old pup Sophie company, and it is quite the experience!. Thank you so much for the stories, the tears, and the laughs!

  33. Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor.
    He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought
    to him after an encounter with a porcupine.
    After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching,
    he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.
    “Fifteen dollars, Ma’am,” he answered.
    “Why that’s simply outrageous!” she stormed. “That’s what’s wrong
    with you Maine people, you’re always trying to over charge summer
    visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we’re not being
    gypped here?”
    “Raise porcupines, Ma’am.”

  34. whoa! i have been looking everywhere for some good biodegradable poop bags (yes, really) — thanks for sharing! 🙂

    sorry, no good jokes. it is too early to be up on a saturday right now for me. :p