I had an allergic reaction to *something* today. I have no idea what. All I know is that at 4 pm, I broke out in hives and started to itch so badly it was physically painful. I looked in the mirror and was greeted with a rather horrific sight.
The last time I looked like this, I had eaten an entire orange as a dare. I know I’m allergic to oranges, so it wasn’t an entirely unexpected outcome and in fact I probably deserved it, but I hadn’t eaten a single item of fruit today.
After ruling out someone sabotaging my lunch with an errant citrus bomb, my mind started to wander to other possibilities. My techs, trying to be helpful, took out my dermatology atlas and pointed out their favorite gruesome differentials:
-Disgruntled client sitting at home rubbing poison ivy on a Dr. V voodoo doll (my hypothesis)
–Scabies / fleas / chewing louse- there is nothing that makes you itch and prickle more than the mere possibility that small multi-legged insects are burrowing into your skin. A pox on them for even saying so.
Regardless of the cause, the fact remained that I still had rooms to see and I looked like a splotchy embarrassed lobster with a glandular condition. What’s a vet to do?
The options were limited, but we did have some benadryl tablets floating around, so I took a couple of those. I don’t normally take benadryl, but I was desperate.
The hives went away, but I fell asleep on the back counter. I was awoken at closing with a gentle nudging from the receptionist, who wanted to go home and needed me to lock up. I swallowed some coffee to perk up and staggered out the back door like a drunken sailor, pink and groggy.
Note to self: keep Claritin in bag at all times. And consult witch doctor about removing hexes, because whatever that was that hit me today, it was evil.