Today, I saw a very cute little dog who was in for suture removal after an orthopedic procedure. I saw the pet a couple of months ago, diagnosed the problem, and referred him to my boss for the repair. The dog was doing great, and the owners were thrilled.
They were chatting with the tech, to whom they have become quite attached over the past month, when the owner reached into her purse and pulled out 2 very beautiful handmade cards.
“This is for you,” she said, presenting one to my tech. She handed the other one to me. “Would you mind giving this to Dr. Boss?”
Relegated to the role of mailman, I sadly put the card in my boss’s box and tried not to take it too personally. I haven’t kept exact counts, but I deeply suspect his gift and card pile is many miles higher than mine. I can’t figure out if I don’t hint enough, or if I just don’t inspire adulation the way others do.
It was like this in vet school too. My friend Dan, who now heads a prestigious department at a top veterinary school, was always getting stuff from clients. Cards, books, candy, casseroles from sweet grandmas and chardonnay from entrepreneurial cougars. Schwag galore. One doc I worked with at the emergency hospital got chocolates on a weekly basis, year-round- and he was on the Atkins diet so he didn’t even eat them.
Maybe I notice it more because I am myself the type who doles out the goods on a regular basis. When I had my kids, I brought cookies to the L&D staff at the hospital and sent a Mrs. Fields basket to my OB’s office. I sent thank you cards to bosses when I left their employ and to inspiring teachers in school. I always try to recognize people who have made a difference.
So to sit on the receiving end and and get, well, zip, pains me- not because I need brownies (I don’t), but because it makes me wonder if I’m somehow not living up to standards consistent with recognition. Am I doing something wrong? Or do I simply attract a clientele that shows their affection in other ways- like, say, continuing to come back with their pets?
I hope I am putting too much stock in the importance of card-receiving in determining my self-worth because that is how I myself express approval. Maybe there are other intangible things I am missing. Maybe the fact that all three of the vets getting inundated with gifts were single men says more about the situation than my own failures.
So tell me: how often do you give your vet (or MD, or teacher, or whoever) tokens of recognition? In this day and age should I just hope I get decent Yelp reviews and leave it at that?
I do bring my vet’s office gifts, but I try not to give gifts to any one person, even my vet, whom I adore. The entire staff is what makes my vet’s office so great and run so smoothly, so I hope they know that I appreciate what everyone contributes.
I probably give gifts of fruit or homemade cookies or candy 2-3 times a year, usually when my dear, darling, idiot dogs have done something that requires a special visit.
I’d say you’re getting the best gift ever: trust and loyalty. People don’t give that lightly, and it’s valuable. 🙂
You’re right, those are worth more than anything, and I know I have that.
I currently don’t even have pets, yet I regularly visit your blog. I think you are wonderful! If I lived in your town I would send over a big pizza just to let you know that there are a whole bunch of us out in internet land that read your blog and love it! Not only are you entertaining with your writing style, but you are an educator as well. And how many vets have the time to maintain a blog as you do on top of your practice??!! Kudos to you, sista! You are doing a WONDERFUL job, and I really, really appreciate your efforts.
Aw, thank you. I really appreciate that. 🙂
Dr. V. I love you but suck it up, sweetie! You have loyal clients plus a whole group of people who adore your blog, who happily and generously support you on your adventures. Plus, the love of a husband who surprised you with a puppy, two wonderful children, Koa, Brody and the Oscelot.
Please DO NOT feel as though you aren’t good enough! Think of every blog response as a “they like me” card.
I do need to suck it up. 🙂
hm, i work at the clinic that i take my cats to but even so i make sure to bring in timbits or something if appropriate… dont ever think that youre not good enough! you just have a different group of admirers 😛 i think if everyone on the internet who loved you sent you something your pile would be much larger than that of your boss. unfortunately shipping would be sooo expensive so we cant all send you presents so i guess telling you that you are AWESOME will just have to do 😛
I really appreciate that. Thank you. 😀
I gave my vet a gift when his wife had a baby, and Shaq sat in the exam room for at least 10 minutes with the gift box in his mouth, waiting for the vet to come in! (Shaq, a Lab, loved to carry things in his mouth!) It was adorable, and Dr. S was happier that Shaq carried it in and gave it to him than he was about the gift! On the other hand, appreciation tokens (like a tin of popcorn at Christmas) are given to the whole office. I agree with counting our responses as admiration cards. If we didn’t value what you have to say, we wouldn’t respond!
You’re right. And your vet is lucky to have you! 😀
Jaz got sick a few years ago. She just wasn’t herself for a day or two and then BAM, she was not even coming out of her crate in the mornings and I actually had to crawl in and half-drag her out! She’s an ACD, so she’s not tiny. I took her to the emergency vet and they couldn’t really find anything. She has a bit of a nervous stomach sometimes, and so they thought that maybe it was just that. It’s been a few years, and I can’t remember what they gave her, but whatever it was, it didn’t help. And I was out $200!
Well, a week later, she still wasn’t better. She’d just lay there, and not even want to eat or play at all. It was so pitiful. That was NOT like her, just to lay still, ever. So, back to the vet we went. We went to the same clinic, but saw a different vet. I was freaking out, because it was the end of the month, and I’d already paid $200 and I didn’t have any extra to spare. I didn’t know what to do.
Thankfully, that vet redid the fecal test, and didn’t charge me for anything but the regular exam, so I was only out like $35 more or something. AND, he found Whipworms!
Anyway, I did send a Thank You card to him. When Jaz was feeling better the next week, I took a picture of her smiling, and printed it onto card stock, and make a Thank You postcard. I often wonder if he got it and if he appreciated it. I wish I would have hand-delivered it, but I didn’t.
I would bet a whole ton that he got it and appreciated it very much. 🙂
For some reason, giving my doctors or vet gifts doesn’t sit that well with me. Perhaps it is because I feel like patients who are “regulars” or those who are so extremely personable are prone to do these things, and I am neither one. I appreciate what they do, and I will give positive reviews (online and to my friends, who could be potential clients) to people who have done an exceptional job, but not a physical gift.
I’m sure your patients appreciate what you do (if they didn’t, they wouldn’t return), and of course, your readers out here on the internet are thrilled to hear what you have to say on a daily basis. Try not to take it personally, just because you express your gratitude with gifts doesn’t mean that others do.
And I appreciate hearing that- in the big picture those reviews are more valuable than anything.
I don’t give my vet anything other than my business. I adore everyone at the practice, and will stop by just to chat, but have never sent anything. The same with doctor’s.
Don’t feel left out about the cards. We know you rule!
And that is enough, as long as you like them. That’s all I needed to hear. 🙂
As always, your post is thought provoking. There are 5 Vets in the practice I go to and I see 1 or 2 more than the others. I am “guilty” of not bringing gifts equally. When one was limping from knee surgery, I made her heating pads/ice packs. When complemented on my handbag, I made the Vet one like it. The Vet I see the most often — my go to guy for sick cats — nada from me. I guess I never felt he had the need for anything in my skill set. But now you have me rethinking that! That is why I love your blog — it gives me/us a perspective from the other side of the exam table! Thanks, Dr. V.
Oh, you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. Obviously I need to toughen up.
I completely understand that sometimes a pat on the back in some form or another is a great token. I think it gives one a sense of security that they are doing the right thing and are where they are suppose to be. But, I think the way of the masses is not to necessarily forget the every day help we receive, but just kind of gloss over it until something really big happens. I have to admit, I have never sent anything to doctors, vets, psychiatrists, or any other professional I go see (well except my therapist, but that’s just because, like I said, some big stuff has happened). I did once give a valentine (the one Pru sent to Brody) to the vet office because I had an extra and everyone there thinks Pru’s quite the looker. I would never single out a certain staff member because I wouldn’t want to offend anyone else that has help Pru in the past.
If I knew your address, I would send you something right now to cheer you up and tell you that I appreciate you because I really do. You are a wonderful virtual friend and I always look forward to the work you do through your blog.
Your post just cheered me up, that was plenty. 🙂 You’re so correct about the everyday stuff versus the big stuff too.
I have never had a close enough relationship with a veterinarian that I’ve sent a gift or even a card. I can understand feeling slighted when you see others around you receiving things though. That is a bummer!
My guess is you have clients like me who don’t send things… I’m going to think about that more now … I should send thanks when my vet does something wonderful! 🙂
Nah, you don’t need to send a thanks. Unless I’m your vet, then you can. 😀
We’re not big on gifts (if we were, we’d have to give one every week!) but I have written thank you notes after the big stuff or when they were particularly sensitive to my crazy ways (like when I cried after Piper got her petellar luxation diagnosis). Maybe since 2002, that’s three notes. I always sent it to the entire office with the primary vet listed first for the issue (e.g. “Dear Dr. _______ and the entire staff of _______ Veterinary”). In the cases we’ve sent it, we’d only seen one vet. If we saw 2 or 3 vets, I probably would have listed all the vets or just “To the great vets and staff at ______ Veterinary”.
I think the vet school is totally a different ball of wax – they are the last stop for many folks and to solve any problems probably gets them lots of gifts even though the vet offices around them probably did a whole lot of legwork without the thanks.
Don’t take it personally. While this particular client may have not recognized that it was a team effort, I’m sure others do. Sometimes people just don’t think. On a personal note, as a friend who happened to have a skill-set you do, you went out of your way to make yourself available for me when I needed it most – and it was during a time when you were struggling with your own pet health issues. That still makes me tear up (in a good way).
(((thank you))))
This is an extreme case, but we rescued an abandoned stray puppy who’d been hit by a car and had a hideously broken leg (requiring surgery, a plate and eight screws), whipworms, giardia and an intestinal infection. He had a *horrible* rehab, and the 24 hour emergency vet provided so much excellent advice — for free, over the phone — when he’d be howling in the middle of the night, we had to bring them cookies and a card to thank them. We wish we could’ve done more, you know? They were amazing.
With our regular vets, it’s a two way street. We do tend to give a gift to the office at Christmas, but the vet’s office has likewise sent us flowers and sympathy cards when we’ve had to say goodbye to beloved pets.
But I have to say, finally, that referrals and loyalty might be the best gifts out there, especially in these challenging economic times. 🙂
Very, very true. Loyalty, referrals are priceless.
I really like Squeaky’s vets and am always extremely happy with the service but I dont think I’ve ever sent a card…I will definitely consider it more! And you should consider all the readers of this blog your loyal ‘fans’ and every comment a thank you card!
Well I should definitely be counting my blessings then. You guys are awesome.
I get the same feeling sometimes, Dr. V. I can remember in vet school, two of my classmates, who were nowhere near as compassionate or close with the clients whose dogs or cats they were caring for, got $100 gift certificates to Panera bread. At least they used some of the money to buy us all bagels. Our clients are generally pretty good to us. We have one family who brings 2 dozen doughnuts every time they come in to refill a prescription and/or he comes in for a recheck exam for their pet’s chronic issues. Our ER clients sometimes bring cookies or candies in when they have sick pets staying through the weekend. I personally have gotten 3 thank you notes since starting this job almost 2 years ago. I know this because I have them all taped to the wall over my desk. One is from a local shelter when I came to help with an education event they were running. Sometimes I feel just like you. You’re not alone in feeling like this. But, like everyone else is saying, you rock! You’re a great vet and I’m sure you have a loyal client base. You have very loyal and loving followers to your blog.
I did have one very thankful owner when I was in vet school. From her, I got a framed picture of her and her dog, a leather briefcase for a laptop I didn’t even own at the time (I still use it!), a pair of long underwear (an inside joke between us), and $50 cash. I was overwhelmed. Her dog was totally worth it though.
Next time we’re at the same conference, I’ll buy you a fancy martini to thank you for all the awesome blog posts and camaraderie you’ve offered me through the internets. You rule!!
That sounds good. I do need to get to Western next year. I love the Vegas conferences.
I have taken in boxes of clementines, and bags of farmers’ market apples, and I have written thank you notes. When I write, I make it to the whole staff, though I may mention the vets who have had the most impact on which ever dog it was that I was primarily writing about….
I love that you address it to the whole staff! 😀
I am very much the same… rarely get tokens of appreciation from clients, and not once do I remember getting them in vet school, even though many of my classmates did. I have to admit it always bothered me deep down because I felt as though it was a sign that I just wasn’t as good as my classmates.
OK, we can be insecure together. 🙂
If you were my parent’s dog’s vet you wouldn’t feel neglected! No one at her vet clinic has been deprived of home made cookies, birthday cakes, and baby quilts (she’s a wonderful seamstress). It just sounds to me like you’ve become a bit of an ‘in the middle’ person”; the vet tech spends a lot of quality time with the clients, and then Dr. Boss gets the accolades.
Next time try shaking hands, then rolling over and playing dead!! That’s always good for a treat!
(I’m kidding, really I am!).
I can at least do the handshake part….lol. Your parents sound pretty awesome.
I take cards and cookies and such for Christmas, but I address it to the whole staff. My vet’s office is very small and I know the whole staff, so it wouldn’t feel right singling anyone out. When Bailey passed away, I did send an email to the surgical clinic, letting them know what happened and thanking them for the care they gave her. But again, I didn’t single out anyone, including the surgeon, who was wonderful.
But I’m happy to single you out — you rock, Dr. V, and I wish you were my vet! (No offense to the one I have, whom I love, but you know…)
I’ve never given a doctor or vet any gifts or cards. My doctor doesn’t do much for me because I don’t often see him, and I don’t see one vet, I see many. I give gifts to my family, and to friends who help me with things. Maybe it’s different for other people, or it’s one of those cultural things, but I don’t form any kind of relationships with my medical professionals. Is that weird? Dentist, optometrist, vet, GP, they don’t know anything about me unless it’s relevant to the reason I’ve gone to see them.
Dude. I totally only give suck-up gifts to medical personnel. You’re awesome that you gave them to L&D, and, I assume, after they were done caring for you. I brought brownies and homemade marshmallows to my peds office once (only once), and ONLY because I needed a whole lot of random and unusual stuff from the office staff. And would for some period of time. It totally worked, too, b/c they didn’t come through for me on something, and I was able to be all “yeah, I definitely came in and gave you a written request for that on the 12th. The note was on the plate of brownies and marshmallows.”
And the staff was all “oh yeah, I remember THOSE. We must have lost the note, let me send that out to you again.” And now they all know my name and my kid, and who knows, that might get my kids in to see a doctor faster when they’ve been, say, poisoned by Infant Tylenol that’s been recalled and nobody told me. Oh wait, that’s a different website…
Bribery. That’s my way.