I actually did have a decent camera with me at Western Veterinary Conference this year. But I didn’t use it.
Vegas is, of course, a spectacle. One expects to see tourists walking blindly through the streets, eyes to the sky at the visual cornucopia of overstimulation, mouths hanging agog in disbelief. When you’re strolling through the casino behind two 8 foot Amazonian showgirls in purple feathers and not much else, it’s a given people will be whipping out their cameras. Ditto for the automatron monstrosity at Caesar’s Palace featuring an animatronic alien/dragon, Julius Caesar, and Merlin.
However, in the subdued, showgirl-less confines of the conference halls, one was expected to maintain a tad bit more decorum. So despite my now ingrained blogger instinct to want to whip out the old point and shoot and shove it in the Elanco rep’s face while he held up the latest heartworm/flea control hybrid pill (it’s super cool- more on that later), I kept my picture taking on the DL during the conference, confined to what I could sneakily shoot with my trusty cameraphone.
Navigating the vast warren of conference rooms reminded me of being a red blood cell bouncing along in a swooshing current. The escalators serve as the aorta, disgorging the little corpuscles to the foyer for re-distribution.
The hordes migrate south in search of free food at the lunchtime sponsored lectures. Note the general consensus is that ‘business casual’ translates to “Effortless transition to the sportbook after 6.”
Perhaps you are asking yourself, where in the casino did you snap this? Because surely this was not taken AT THE CONFERENCE. Oh, but it was. See, this is what happens when vets try to dress up.
I desperately wanted to tap him on the shoulder and ask, “Did you already own the go-go girl cardigan? Or did you buy it special for this trip?” but I chickened out.
There was no shortage of businesses offering various enticements to get us into their clutches. This was far and away the most effective. Consider it the vet equivalent of a chick in a bikini on a car hood.
After tiring of the lectures, one could wander to the exhibit hall to see the latest and greatest in veterinary and pet items up for sale. At this booth, a ceramic artist offered a beautiful version of the traditional clay pawprint. This picture doesn’t do this justice- she actually glazed the print with colors representative of the seal point Siamese it honored. Their site isn’t up yet, but I will share it when it is.
I wasn’t in the market for a portable CT scanner this go round, but I could be talked into a shirt.
That about sums up my life.
Once the conference wraps up for the evening, the next phase of the journey involves meandering into the vast meadows of slot machines gently waving in the desert breeze.
“And in the rolling green dales of the Shire there dwelt a hobbit. And that hobbit had a very special ring, which when placed upon his finger, would confer the gift of invisibility.
“Every weekend, after a long night of ale drinking and merrymaking and epic poem singing with those insufferable dwarves, the hobbit would slip on the ring, tiptoe out the hobbit-hole unseen, and make his way to Mordor Springs for some slot machine action.”
It is a place of crass grandeur, where one can stroll covetously down the marble halls and jealously eye all the things just beyond one’s reach.
It is also a place of magic, where wizards of a different type might spontaneously appear from behind a puff of truffle oil infused demi-glace and confer upon you the honor of being Happiest Person in the Casino.
When you retire, exhausted and serene, you can take in the stellar view of the Strip and gently drift off to sleep.
Well, you could, if you didn’t have a rollercoaster right outside your window.
I’m thinkin’ that go-go girl jacket would have made the cut if it had been Great Danes instead!
That would have been acceptable.
I knew if we harassed you enough you’d show us the picture of you and your chef. You make a lovely couple.
Thank you. 🙂 I forgot to propose though. Shoot, maybe next time.
Love to hear of your adventures! (And i have t t-shirt just like that except in a different color — one of my favorites….) So glad you had a good time, and that you got such an enthusiastic welcome from Brody and Koa!
Why am I not surprised that you are ahead of the curve on dog fashion? Just wait until you see what I have as a giveaway next week! 😀
I… WANT… THAT… SHIRT!!!! any info on where I could purchase it?
Put the link in there= just click on the word “shirt.” 🙂
YAY! So glad you shared “the picture” with us! 🙂 And I’m seriously afraid of that cardigan. Where would someone come upon something like that? Do I even want to know? I do love the dog t-shirt though!
Thanks for the mental vacation!
It was kind of awesome though, there I was on the escalator, and boom- funny just happens right in front of me.
Your Go-Go Girl cardigan comment made me laugh out loud. You are hilarious!
I like to laugh, it makes these things more fun. Glad you appreciated the horrificness of the cardigan!
Hahaha! I never thought to describe the raging horde as individual corpuscles! It felt more like cattle in a shute to me, including the bawling, stomping, drooling and horn shaking. Great to see you there and glad you made it back through the scary nightlife back to your rest(less) room.
And that was just to get in to see Mike Rowe.
I don’t think I told you, did I? After I walked a few steps closer to the tram on Wednesday I realized the stupid thing wasn’t running so I walked back to NYNY. Talk about an epic Lord of the Ring journey. LOL!
AAAAHAAYIIIIOMG!!! CHEF KELLER!!!! omg i want to kiss that man.
that picture is WONDERFUL and you look extremely normal and well-composed considering you are standing next to a GOD OF CHEFDOM! that is so AWESOME! 🙂
also:
1. omg that JACKET? it burned my eyes to look at it. and what was with his shoes too? was he working a ghetto-fabulous look or something? 😉
2. the tshirt is awesome! and so so accurate.
3. LOTR SLOT MACHINE?! amazing.
4. i’ll be curious to hear more about the paw-imprint/photo website thing…
5. srsly that picture of you and the chef needs to be framed and gilded or something-how COOL is that?!!!
Thanks for sharing with us!!!
Thank you. My family was so “I have no idea who that is but good for you” that it was really deflating to call them. No one was impressed. So thank you for sharing my enthusiasm 😀
Aaah thanks for posting the lovely pic of you and Hubert, you both look great!
Thank you so much! I had to laugh when I saw it, I look just delirious with glee.
I have so many things to say about this post. I’ll just sum it up in two words: LOVE IT.
And, great photo of you and Chef! My celebrity photos usually don’t turn out, a la Farmer Ted and the Prom Queen.
+100000000 for Sixteen Candles reference
I need to try and catch up with you at a conference sometime…you have WAY more fun than I do! 🙂
Well, it started out slow, but built to a crescendo by Wednesday. I am working on the art of finding fun in otherwise dull experiences (which this obviously was not.)
BOL!!! So glad you write this blog! You could make a living as an author if you ever get tired of the overweight owners with obese dogs.
Y’all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog
Aw, thank you. I appreciate that. 🙂
Great stealth photography! Nice of you to protect the ‘innocent’ wearing the go-go sweater. heehee
It worked out well. I thought I was being subtle but I heard enough chuckles behind me to tell I was busted.
That cone shirt… it is wonderful.
Also… Hubert Keller! I am so jealous!
How cool that you met Chef Keller! My mom and I once saw Elizabeth Faulkner at the San Francisco farmer’s market and we gushed over her like total idiots but she was so nice.
Also, love seeing pics of you on the blog – you should show your face more often. 🙂