I like spending time with my family. We do crafty things, because they’re fun and everyone enjoys them. One of our traditions, started back when my daughter was in kindergarten, is to make little Valentine’s Day trinket boxes to send to school on Valentine’s Day- a craft I found on the Martha Stewart website and immediately fell in love with. It’s a cute craft- you take empty matchboxes, cover them with scrapbook paper and ribbons, and fill them with conversation hearts. It’s simple, sweet, and it’s always gone over well.
Until this year.
Last Friday, as I was at home recovering from the jetlag of my Westminster trip, I was interrupted in my reverie by a phone call from the school principal, who called to let me know that she had received “multiple complaints” about my little craft. My immediate thought was, oh no, the kids forgot to remove the matches from some of the boxes, but that wasn’t it. Some parents were just mortified that I used matchboxes for a craft. The principal patiently explained, in the same tone one might explain to a kindergartner why gargling with Drano is a bad idea, about the dangers of sulfur residue. Then she said the part that really killed me: “You need to think about the message you are sending here.”
The message I had sent, or so I thought, was, “I care enough about your kids to spend a day running around gathering supplies to make a cute and time consuming re-purposing project.” But people being the contrary types who like to assume the worst read something else into it, what, I don’t know exactly. “Hey kids, pyromania is fun!” “Crack is cool!” Empty matchboxes are the gateway craft, y’all.
I’m not going to lie. I was upset, both at the parents who immediately assumed the worst and then, rather than just throwing it away, ran to the administration demanding recourse, and then at the administration for treating me as if I had sent home used hypodermic needles to the young impressionable minds of the school. The message I got loud and clear was this: you, Dr. V, are a bad mother with dangerous ideas.
The Tainted Love Project
So anyway, rather than continue to stew about it I started looking around for more constructive uses of my energy. I do believe our actions speak to our character and our messages should reflect that. So here is what I am doing:
Later that day I saw a post from my alma mater, the UC Davis School of Veterinary Medicine, about something called the Josh Challenge. It was started by a veterinarian whose child needed surgery. He created the I’ll Be OK gift box: in it, a book he wrote for his daughter while she was in the hospital, and a stuffed Golden Retriever. These boxes are donated to scared children in the hospital to let them know that “It’s going to be OK.”
My school is in a friendly competition with other vet schools to see who can raise the most money to purchase these Josh Kits for donation to local children’s hospitals. If they raise $1K by this week, pharmacology professor Dr. Alan Buckpitt is going to shave his 35 year old moustache off, which alone is worth a donation in my eyes. I remember him from my days at school. The ‘stache was impressive even back then.
In order to help them to this end, I am making a limited edition series of pet themed “Tainted Love” matchbox trinket boxes, which I will send along to anyone who makes a donation of $7 or more to the project. They will be lovingly crafted of dangerous cardboard and dusted with the sulfurous residue of its vacated matchheads. I use mine for Altoids. You can store whatever you like in yours: gunpowder, glass shards, mercury, the options are endless.
Lest anyone make assumptions about what message I’m sending, let me just go ahead and spell it out: We should all be so lucky that the biggest threat to our family’s health would be an innocuous empty matchbox. And if it is, be grateful for your blessings and rather than waste time condescendingly lecturing well meaning people about the dangers of repurposed cardboard, how about you remember those who are dealing with a real crisis and send a little love their way instead.
If you want to help me send a little message to the world about positive uses of one’s time, you can make a donation directly to the SCAVMA Josh Project fund through the Paypal Donate button here.
If you would like one of these toxic art pieces, just forward me your Paypal receipt for a donation of $7 or more and I and my kids will get right on it. In addition, if Dr. Buckpitt shaves off his moustache, I will pledge to donate the contents of my doggie goodie closet- piles of toys and pet supplies I’ve accumulated in the last couple years- to the Rancho Coastal Humane Society here in San Diego. I have a lot of stuff in there. Much love to you all!
Deborah Mendez says
Donation made directly! Your craft work is great — and I know my crafts! What a sad reaction from the school. Might be time to move — oh wait, you are already on that!!
Dr. V says
Thank you Deb! I know, now I’m even more motivated to move. :/
KT says
I think I strained my eyes from the massively annoyed eyeroll I just had. Gobsmacked by their reaction to your project. Absolutely gobsmacked. That was / is a great idea for a project and too bad for them that they didn’t appreciate it.
Dr. V says
My eyes are a little sore as well.
JaneK says
I hope to goodness that I can make a mom friend like you when my child enters kindergarten next year. I am scared to death of those ridiculous over-reactive parents who have nothing to worry about except little craft that may or may not have a trace of sulfur what-ever on it. Geesh! Meanwhile, they are the ones with the kids that end up as socio-paths….. just sayin’ and let me add….. you rock!
Dr. V says
The normal ones are out there, you just have to look a little harder since they learn to hide early on.
Melody says
That is so full of ridiculous, I’m near speechless… I hope the kids got to enjoy their little gifts for at least a short while before their positively awful parents took them away.
Dr. V says
Clearly someone liked it enough to pull all the paper off and “reveal” its sinister skeleton.
Anonymous says
Okay, I’m a cat mom, maybe I’m not aware of all the dangers in schools today, and I might almost think this was a “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” “Bluff the Listener” selection and it’s sad to find out it’s not a joke. For the sake of crafts, repurposing, and Josh, I will share.
Dr. V says
I kept waiting for the punchline too.
Kristyn Hone says
I love the Josh Project! Our school SCAVMA has donated each year, so good that you are turning lemons into lemonade. I’m amazed at what people will complain about.
Dr. V says
The energy that it takes to go and complain….that is what kills me.
Anonymous says
This so irritated me. I grew up on crafts like this and find it amazing that the same people who grew up with me are now parents behaving this way. So, I donated for each of my dogs, because I bet the parents of the kids who receive the “I’ll be OK Gift Box” wish the only problem they had in their lives was worrying about something as asinine as a matchbox opening the door to little Jimmy’s sinister future.
Way to go Dr. Evil π
Dr. V says
“find it amazing that the same people who grew up with me are now parents behaving this way”- SO TRUE. And you already knew I was Dr. Evil, right?
Scout says
Dr. Vicious is the new Dr. V
I hope some of those parents read your blog & realize how lucky they are that their children are healthy enough to attend school & focus on that instead.
Dr. V says
It would be nice. I’m sure if they read it, they’d miss the boat entirely, but maybe that’s me being pessimistic.
Sue W. says
Wow, Dr. V! I had no idea you were such an evil, sulfur-spreading mom! (cough,cough overreacting nothing-better-to-do parents cough, cough).
Way to turn your anger into something good! Even if the whole thing turned into a big, ole, “slap-on-the-wrist” ridiculo-sode – the important thing is the lesson to your kids that, as Kristyn said, lemons can be made into lemonade. It’s a win all the way around.
Dr. V says
I had to do something good or else I would just be sitting and steaming. And turn into one of *them*.
LB says
Oh my gosh people overreact and you know it is the parents, who are the do everything and be perfect moms too. UGH, so glad I don’t have kids yet. Are the dog and books only for local hospitals in California or are they for other hospitals too?
Dr. V says
The dogs are for whomever; the group that is raising money from the UC Davis student association are donating the kits to the UC Davis Children’s Hospital, but they can go to anyone if you buy directly.
Lisa says
No good deed goes unpunished. ; )
Dr. V says
It really doesn’t, does it? I made a list of all the times I’ve gotten in trouble at this school and it spells out quite a disturbing pattern.
JaneK says
PS: did you see “I don’t know how she does it” with Sarah Jessica Parker? Not that great of a movie but there are some parts I’m sure you could relate to! It portrays the stereotypical b**chy mom who is very judgemental yet completely ignores her own kids. The very ones who would be worried about matchbox crafts! It gave me a chuckle
Dr. V says
I think I have to see it now!
Teri, Brighton, Coco and Disco says
I shared and I donated $7 and did not know of this project til now…thanks everso for telling us about it (and for making me remember my matchbook treasure boxes as a kid…
Dr. V says
Oh yaay, I will make sure I make a cat one for you. π
guest says
As an attorney I get these ***!#@$^ calling me asking how can they teach that evil person a lesson (or is there any money in it for me) and I invariably respond with something along the lines of “how many times has your child picked something up off the floor and stuck it in their mouth?” (or get a life and find something of real importance to bother me with because this ain’t it). I want that mustache gone! It must go!
Dr. V says
Oh, if someone tries to sue me it’s all over. Then they will see a sight they might not like.
Carolk says
I’m just catching up on my favourite reading (yours). I remember having matchboxes to save things, for me it was my hopscotch beads. We also, if we were very lucky, had the beautiful purple Seagram’s Crown Royal Bag for marbles.
I had no idea how disturbed our parents were.
I admire how you were able to turn bad to good.
Ignore the ignorant and keep on crafting.
Anonymous says
Late to this party, but I cannot believe they turned your awesome little craft project into something so controversial! It’s not like you gave them candy cigarettes! Another example of why dogs (and cats) are so much better to hang out with. No pet would ever complain about what type of container you fill with their treats!
I just made a donation to the cause. I love the “I’ll Be Ok” gift box idea.
Allison Tran says
This is totally crazy! I did a matchbox craft for the Teen Summer Reading Program at my library last year (blogged here: http://www.readingeverywhere.com/2011/06/summer-reading-craft-matchbox-louvre.html), and it was wildly popular. No complaints that I was corrupting young minds, even in my conversative community. I am dumbfounded at the response you received.
I will definitely spread the word about your efforts to help the Josh Challenge. I love how you turned something negative into a positive.
Bev VanZant says
seriously? You need to mention this to Martha—you DID get her phone number when you met her in NYC, didn’t you?
I love how you do the lemons to lemonade thing!