Tonight I spent ten minutes feeding Brody peanut butter on a tongue depressor so I could remove some staples from his chin. 10 days ago he had yet another mass removal. I think we're at four mass removals now, maybe five. Five masses and one ear. At least two of those masses represented dangerous cancers in their early stages, and according to the pathology reports, they are gone. It is one of the things you do when you have a pet, especially a Golden. I do this willingly and gladly, ... Read more »
cancer sucks
Life is Short. Buy the Boots.
If grief were a color, it would be slate. Not an angry obsidian black, or a peaceful dove grey, but that shapeshifting silver somewhere between black and white, a stormy sea that some days seems blue, others almost brackish, depthless and impossible to truly describe. If it were a shape, it would be a spiral, a shape you ride on in a neverending loop of centrifugal force splattering you against the wall whether you will it or not, bringing you back again and again to the same spot, from a ... Read more »
Cancer Is Fun
That's sarcasm, by the way. Cancer sucks, I hate cancer, cancer can go suck it. Anyway. When you have a dog, but especially when you have a dog who is a breed with a 50% occurrence of cancer in their lifetime, you learn to be vigilant. And by vigilant I mean you pick over your dog like a chimpanzee searching out ticks, and with good reason. So far, as you know, I've lost one dog to lymphoma, one to probable melanoma, and Brody's had the following removed: low grade melanoma on his lip ... Read more »
California’s End of Life Option Act and How it Would have Changed Mom’s Death
In 2014, a young, vibrant woman named Brittany Maynard moved from the home in California she had known all her life so that she could die on her own terms in Oregon. Diagnosed with glioblastoma, arguably one of the most monstrous forms of cancer in this world, Maynard was willing to uproot her life, put her face out into the world, and share a most intimate decision with a universe of strangers in order to help people understand why someone might make the decision to hasten their death. With ... Read more »
Lend me your ear
Get it? Because we're short one over here. Warning: Blood ahead. When it comes to my dog, I am just as nuts as any other client. I can't think logically, I panic, I just gnaw on my fingernails and try to figure out what's the best thing to do. For this reason, I had no interest in doing Brody's surgery whatsoever and instead entailed the services of my friend, board certified veterinary surgeon Dr. Tracy Frey of Soft Surg and the lovely staff at Animal Urgent Care, who took amazing care of us ... Read more »
Save tons at the vet! How to keep your dog from dying of cancer
As a veterinarian, I've seen lots of cancers: lymphoma. Melanoma. Osteosarcoma. Hemangiosarcoma. Mast cell tumors. Wait, those are just my own dogs I'm talking about. When I factor in my clients, I think I've seen it all. Dogs get cancer, at very high rates: about 50% of senior dogs die of it, if the statistics are to be believed. Why? Well, if you read overly simplified, graphics-intensive websites by people who really don't know what they're talking about, they will tell you that they know ... Read more »
Brain Food
Did you know tomorrow is National Donut Day? Donuts have always held a special place in my family's heart. Mystical, you might even say. I grew up in New England, where Dunkin Donuts are as ubiquitous as Starbucks and McDonalds. Driving through for a box of Munchkins was our way of celebrating, commiserating, or simply getting a sugar fix. For my grandfather, the Dunk was also a neighborhood gathering place where he went to shoot the breeze, down a jelly donut with a coffee regular (it's a ... Read more »
And still we are here
So here we are. I wake up every morning and do what I have to do, because that is what you do, and write articles about broken toenails and plan for the book release, and then when I pause in my activities I remember: oh yes. That. It wasn't a bad dream. I have done what I am supposed to do. We held hands and stood in the face of a futile fight, and laid down our weapons. You may come, death. We do not fear you. And yet now that we have welcomed him, he hesitates, the rotten bastard. We ... Read more »
The 5 Gratitudes and the Very Important Question
Today marks five weeks since my mother's diagnosis with aggressive Grade IV glioblastoma, five weeks since my family's lackadaisical spring was hit by a grenade that launched us into the surreal world of watching someone next to you on the beach suddenly snatched away by a rogue wave and pulled, slowly but inexorably, off by a receding tide. I thought I would be much more angry than I am, angry at the unfairness of a universe that takes her in such a cruel manner while it leaves behind the ... Read more »
The Everything in Nothing
I know I've been remiss in posting, and I wish very much I could say it's because I've been so busy creating amazing and exciting book campaigns and creating a plan to hit the NY Times Bestseller List in July. I still want to, don't get me wrong, and I still plan to at least give it ago. But that's not why I've been quiet. I guess you could say I've been doing nothing. Nothing. Let me explain. I've said to many people when I started working with as a hospice veterinarian two years ago it ... Read more »
Do No Harm
I always assumed my experience as a veterinarian would serve me at some point when I needed to navigate the human healthcare system. The similarities between veterinary training and medical training, after all, lend themselves to a good number of similarities: how to read scientific articles critically. How to read an MRI. When to call the office and say, this prescription doesn't seem quite right, is this what you wanted? The similarities are all well and good, but I never understood, in the ... Read more »
Restful dreams, Red King
I once worked in a very stressful place. It was an emergency hospital, always about 3 staff members short of a full crew and 25 people piled in the lobby waiting for treatment. It was a large staff of doctors, about 10 at the time, and as how things tend to happen in nutso environments the staff would get nutso a little bit as well. Stress does that to people. You never sat still at that hospital; it was run run run, a dog bleeding out in room 1, a dyspneic cat gasping in room 2, five clients ... Read more »
She might have a Caesar
One part of being a medical professional that no one really prepares you for is how to deliver bad news. If you watch those who have done it long enough (read: emergency doc) you'll see the professional approach: sterile, blunt, quick. You have to do it that way, because you have a bunch of patients still alive to attend to. OK, not this blunt: But that's a learned skill. Those who haven't done it as frequently have obvious tells: the grimace when your hopeful face meets their eyes, the ... Read more »
Minimizing the Stress of Euthanasia
I can't believe Koa's been gone over a month. Sometimes I still look for her around the corner or find some black fur stuck to a sock buried in the laundry pile. We are still adjusting. I did a quick Google Hangout video talking about some of the lessons I've taken from my own dogs as well as my experience in the clinic. I hope it has some information people find useful, especially to those who have never been through the process before. ... Read more »
Muscle Memory
Scientists have long been fascinated with the concept of "muscle memory", that subconscious part of our brain that controls movement without us having to think about it. It's what allows us to do complicated tasks such as riding a bike or typing "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" without having to stop and say, OK, I need to contract my left hamstring while extending my right quadricep and all those tricky things that go into motion. It's what allows me to tie a knot during surgery ... Read more »
Tip Number One in the Grieving Process: Get Takeout
Everyone processes grief differently. From those who wear it all on their sleeve to those who bottle it in and let it slowly eat them up inside to those who tackle an entirely unrelated project with distracted abandon, being sad is a universal condition we all have to figure out how to deal with. I grew up in New England. We're taught from an early age not to show sadness. Or happiness, or anything, really, other than a mild general irritation with other human beings. "Be like a cement ... Read more »
Please God, let me go with my face in a plate of chocolate chip ice cream
Friday things were getting bad, Kekoa's leg was aching. So you know, it's time to go, But not without some bacon. Saturday was super great, All day long we ate and ate, Venison, rabbit, gator too, All day feasting through and through. And when Sunday came around, Gray and rainy, under cloud, I sat down and then I cried, Cause it was time to say goodbye. When the doctor gave the shot, My dear dog, she felt it not Because she had - don't get me wrong- In her paws, ... Read more »
Pain, masks, and the longest hike
It's weird how the universe works in parallel sometimes. About 10 days or so ago, I broke my toe. And just so you know I'm not making this up: I really did. Not doing anything heroic, unfortunately. I broke it by running too enthusiastically into an unpacked box that was filled with some as-of-yet unknown substance, probably cement, or maybe iron bars or something. Nonetheless, what I thought was a stubbed toe turned into that mess within a day or so. It's not bad. It's taped up and I can ... Read more »
