Hands "You have surgeon's hands," said Mr. Veri, and I believed him. It was one of the few things my Jon Lovitz-esque physics teacher had said to me all year, and I had no idea what prompted it or what level of experience he had with hand divination, but it sounded like a kickass thing to have, and I held onto it. He saw my hands, but he didn't know my heart. I didn't either, so I can't blame him for setting me up for crushed dreams down the road. I went into veterinary school sure of two ... Read more »
Emmett
A Very Macabre Christmas to You and Yours
Among the many things I inherited a love of from my mother, such as books and weird medical cases, are Christmas ornaments and crafting. Every Christmas since I was little, we would get an ornament in our stocking, and when I moved out, I took my collection with me. It's a lovely way to have a little nostalgia every December when we set up the tree. I have done the same for my kids, so when they are older they can survey their pile of Tow Mater and Barbie ornaments the way I look over my ... Read more »
Love and Dogs at Comic-Con
So yesterday, in an attempt to pull me out of the glums, my husband surprised me with a one day pass to Comic-Con, which if you are not aware is an event where 125,000 people descend on the city in ill-fitting Transformers costumes and pack the convention center in a celebration of pretty much everything pop culture. It is massive, but getting in these days is like getting a Golden Ticket. So of course I had to go. First, I tried to get into the Game of Thrones panel, since the book's author ... Read more »
Heart Pet Day
I don't think it's the most politic of things to say, but sometimes we play favorites in life. I'd like to think I'm above that, but I'm so totally not. Emmett was my favorite dog. I love all of my pets, past and present, with all of my heart, but the bond we had was something special. It is the kind of understanding that is impossible to explain unless you've experienced it, and I say it as someone who's had pets all her life. I get all of my pets inside and out. But this one got me, and ... Read more »
Wordless Wednesday: Cheese!
... Read more »
Unwelcome to the club
This week, I heard that a friend and very devoted Golden mom got some really crummy news about the love of her life. I thought I had it bad- I was pretty mad at the universe that Emmett got lymphoma when he was only 7. Teva is only FOUR. Ugh. That is the roll of the die we take when we invite a pet into our lives, especially one like a Golden who is unfortunately genetically more susceptible to certain cancers. That doesn't make it suck any less. I spent a lot of time dissecting my ... Read more »
Hearts and thoughts they fade
While I was cavorting at BlogPaws this weekend, my husband was getting some work done around the house, a task I truly appreciate as I despise housework with the hot flames of a thousand suns. While I would like to think this was because he just loves me that much, the cynic in me also whispered that perhaps he was just buttering me up for the abandonment that comes with the start of the NFL football season. No matter. I am still happy. One of his self-appointed tasks was to hang some ... Read more »
Tumbleweeds
As I was driving home yesterday, I was thinking about Emmett and how much has changed in the past year. One year ago, I said goodbye. One year ago, I sat 10 feet from where I am now with my head on his neck for the last time, while he sighed into my hands, too tired to even roll over for a belly rub. It was a bad day. I was thinking about how, after he died, our house was the cleanest it had been in years. The tumbleweeds were gone- the ever present little hair balls that found their way into ... Read more »
The scar remains
One year ago today, I wrote what turned out to be a rather iconic post. If you aren't familiar with why I keep referring to my undying hatred of Kevin, that post explains it. The anniversary of Emmett's passing is next week, and I am already dreading it. I have lost dogs before, and will, I am sure, go through it again though I am hoping that day is far from now. Over time, the sharp pains of grief turn into more of a dull ache, which in time recedes into the corners of one's mind and only ... Read more »
Lost in translation
In the urn post, some of you said that you didn't feel a need to have your loved ones' ashes back. I get that. I mean, it's just soot and shadows and memories. Nothing of what made them what they are remains. Emmett had a big red mane like a lion. He was the most huggable dog I've ever met. I spent hours with my face buried in his neck- studying for board exams, seeking solace, or just hanging out. You can't do that with a hard edged box. He used to be waiting for me by the door every ... Read more »
Kevin’s right hand man
As awful as this week has been, I have found so much comfort in finding that others have been touched by my little dude as well. I know my sadness is no different than each of you who has also lost a dear friend. How sad for those who haven't felt this kind of loss, because that means they never got to experience this kind of love. When Emmett and I were at Dog Beach this Sunday, I was following along as Emmett nuzzled a woman for pets as he always does. After receiving his due, we continued ... Read more »
Oh, Emmett.
When my husband and I took Emmett to Dog Beach a couple of weeks ago, my husband commented how the place was like 'heaven for dogs'. I was thinking the same thing, though he probably wasn't thinking about it in as literal a context as I was. This weekend, I went again, without my husband and kids. Just me and Emmett. He had a fantastic time, wading through the surf, visiting other dogs, getting lots of pets. It was a perfect day. That night, things started to go downhill. Fast. I threw every ... Read more »
