The call came yesterday evening, when I was sitting on the couch trying to block the sounds of the upstairs neighbor's daily dance exercises out of my cranium. He or she was dancing to "Firework" on this fine evening, jumping up and down to the beat on top of my head. Do you ever hate (jump) walls so paper thin (bump) Like the ceiling's bout (smash) to come caving in (crash) Neighbor you're a piece (thump thump) of work- (thump thump) C'mon let your ear (tap tap) drums burst - (splat ... Read more »
house selling
The Long Dark Tea Time of the Brode
This is my life right now: Commute kids to school. Get loan documents. Get more loan documents. Write. Provide more loan documents. I have done this house buying thing once or twice in my life, but it's never been like this. I get it, things are different now. But it feels almost violating, some random 20 something loan intern combing through the minutiae of your life's history, eyeing you with mistrust, as if YOU'RE the one responsible for the current housing mess. While our mortgage history ... Read more »
Not featured in the Martha Stewart Home Fragrance Collection: eau de Koa butt
As you may or may not recall, we've had our house on the market for a while. It has been a horrible experience, if I'm being honest, and it's turning me into an unpleasant person. The last five months of constant chasing around after two kids and two dogs, keeping an immaculate house for strangers to paw through at whim before dismissively walking away, has taken its toll. We've decided that this is the last week, and after that we're taking a break and pulling the place off the market until ... Read more »
The Realtor, by Edgar Labby Koe
Once upon a midday dreary, home from working, weak and weary, Staring with resentment at the “For Sale” sign perched near the door, While I Facebooked, blogged and Tweeted, on the sofa, softly seated, Suddenly I felt quite heated, heated staring at the floor. “Tis an old juice box,” I muttered, “sitting crumpled on the floor- Garbage there, it makes me sore.” Ah, so clearly I recall that it was in the chill of fall, And each separate messy creature wrought its carnage on the ... Read more »
House Hunting: Go on, look. I dare you.
Well, we've done it. Our house is on the market. I hope it sells quickly, because we've whipped the place into show-perfect condition and trust me, I can only sustain this for a very short amount of time. The pressure of the constant running around after two messy little primates dripping crumbs and two fuzzy big canines shedding fur and one giant ape dripping socks is just a whole lot for one person who isn't that fond of housekeeping to begin with. Every time someone wants to come through ... Read more »
