Yesterday, I was working on a homework assignment for a course I am taking on pet loss and bereavement. I was reading about the guilt so much of us feel after losing a pet, and one of the exercises they recommend we do is imagine a conversation with our pet. I decided I would try this with Kekoa, as I struggled- like so many people do- with knowing if it was the right time to say goodbye to her last year as she dealt with bone cancer. Me: Kekoa, I'm sorry. Kekoa: I love you. Me: I feel ... Read more »
pet loss
We Will Remember You: A Pet Loss Memorial Candle Ceremony
There is something vastly powerful about going through grief with friends. It validates, it resonates, it comforts. When it comes to losing a pet, too many of us are forced to endure the pain without that camaraderie of a circle of friends. To that end, and because I know so many people continue to hurt and feel alone in their grief over the loss of a beloved pet, The Tiniest Tiger and I are hosting a Pet Loss Candle Ceremony next Wednesday, February 5th, at 6 pm PST. What Will ... Read more »
What to Say to Someone in Mourning
This morning, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Joanne McGonagle over at The Tiniest Tiger for a Google Hangout on the topic of pet loss. I had this whole long post about how easy it is to get wrong and how hard it is to get right, but rather than go through the long sordid tales of all the times I've said the exact wrong thing I thought I would instead sum up what we, along with all the wonderful participants, concluded during the course of the talk. Some of the statements are specific ... Read more »
Professional Loser
I hope everyone had a safe and happy transition into 2014. 2014! How did this happen? It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on the edge of Lake Union at the turn of the millennium, looking out over the Space Needle and wondering whether it was going to go dark and topple into the water (it didn't.) The thought of 2014 seemed very far away at the time. Old and Boring I would have thought 14 years would bring a vast amount of wisdom and insight into my world, that I would be ... Read more »
The Dude’s Guide to Losing a Pet
In my thirty something years on this planet, I've never seen my father cry. I think part of me assumed for a really long time that men simply just didn't feel things as intensely as women did, which of course is not true at all. As a society, men are pressured from the get-go to bottle up any sort of sadness or grief, hammer it down, force it inward. The very word "man up" sums it up: outward signs of sadness are feminine, wussy, and will get you devoured. I don't think it's inherently this ... Read more »
