The thing about living with a dog is, they tend to behave in a very predictable manner. So when bad things happen, you can usually trace it back to an error on your part, and/or follow the trajectory of all the future things that will arise from it. Case in point: Koa has now realized that when she is left alone for more than two minutes, the best way to assuage her anxiety is to lock herself in the pantry and eat away her stress. This has happened three times in as many weeks. It's ... Read more »
trouble
Can see this coming from a mile away
Tonight I attended an orientation for new Girl Scout troop leaders. I thought it would involve some construction paper ideas, handing me a pile of beanies and wishing me luck. Oh no. Oh NO. Starting a Girl Scout troop is like applying to vet school. There's reference checks, medical histories, asking for when I got my last tetanus shot...it's nuts. And the cookies. Oh, the cookies. Mandatory cookie training is December 11th. I'll let that sink in: mandatory cookie training. What have I ... Read more »
CSI San Diego: Ichthycide
8 am: Call from residence. Hysterical woman claiming discovery of dead body. Police dispatch to scene. 8:10: Arrive on scene, met by disheveled homeowner. Led me to kitchen and pointed to metal dog food bowl. Called for backup. ... Read more »
Juvenile delinquent
When my daughter's class went to Sea World earlier this week (I know, don't get me started) I was not asked to chaperone. That was OK with me, for several reasons: 1. I got to chaperone the awesome trip to the wildlife preserve in January. 2. You all know how I feel about Sea World. One other reason: I found out that many of the parents invited to chaperone were so asked because the teacher was afraid that without direct parental supervision, their children would end up running around ... Read more »
Fifty Dollars plus Time Served
I spent yesterday morning sitting in a grey carpeted holding pen, breathing stale air and trying not to make eye contact with the sea of humanity surrounding me. The wireless was down, so I was stuck playing Bejeweled on my iphone to pass the time. Despite the best video California's court system could muster up, I couldn't be convinced this was the opportunity of a lifetime. Nor was I buying the assertion that serving on a jury was going to be a bonding experience with my fellow citizens, ... Read more »
The Usual Suspects
Pawcurious Police Department Law Enforcement Incident Report Date: 03/26/2010 Time Printed: 0715 Incident Number: 012345 INCIDENT DATA: Incident Type: HOMICIDE Address of Occurence: DR V'S YARD Weapon Used: TEETH Domestic: YES ... Read more »
You’re a bad one, Mr. Brode
You're a stinker, Mr. Brode. You really have some gall! You won't stop jumping on me And chasing kitty down the hall Mr. Broooooooo-ode I was going to wait until you were a year but I think I have no choice To go ahead and remove your balls! You're a rotter, Mr. Brode. You're the king of eating junk! Your belly's full of earplugs and your ears are full of gunk Mr. Broo-ode! The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote: STINK, STANK, STUNK!!* *In a fit of pique ... Read more »
We’re ready- are you?
Brody heard me talking about "Thanksgiving GI upsets" in one breath and "early starts" in another, so he decided to go ahead a day early and greet me with a wee bit of explosive diarrhea of indeterminate origin this morning. And this without a single bite of turkey skin or cheese. Keep the bird up high, y'all. And have a great day! ... Read more »
