Every morning when I get into work, one of the first things I do is check the fax machine. (OK, I’ll be honest, the receptionist checks it and I just ask her if anything came in. But you get the idea.) There is the usual stuff- requests from online pharmacies, continuing education announcements, Viagra ads- but there are only two things I really care about: labwork, and notes from the emergency hospital. We have a great 24 hour emergency hospital that we refer to after-hours, or even ... Read more »
Musings
Rules for a Long and Happy Life: Number One
First in a series. The most famous is: never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Oh wait, wrong topic. Rules for a Long and Happy Life of a pet. Be trite, if it makes you happy. Name your dog Fluffy or Rover or Fido. Be ironic- name your chihuahua Cujo or your bulldog Daisy Mae. Name your cat after your favorite literary character, anime cartoon, or hobbit. If and only if you are homeless, ... Read more »
The Amazing Dr. V knows all, sees all
I think some clients truly believe I have a crystal ball squirreled away in the treatment area. With such a mystical device at my disposal, surely there is no need for such silly, superfluous money wasting devices like bloodwork, x-rays, or even a pesky physical exam. I simply see the dog or cat- nay, with my powers I can even ascertain their sickly auras over the phone- run into the back, whip the velvet cover off my ball-box, and gaze into its depths. "O, Great Crystal Kitty Ball," I ... Read more »
When satin lined coffins are out of the question
Mulan's ashes arrived back from the pet memorial park in a very nice cedar box. I took the box inside the house, and placed it on the counter next to my keys, whereupon my 4 year old immediately honed in and asked what was in the box. "Memories," I told her, then whisked the box out of her hands before she tried to open it. Right now Mulan is resting on top of the TV. It is the only place where she is safe from kid-hands and misplacement. I feel badly that I haven't picked somewhere more ... Read more »
Practice Limited to Animals Only
I wonder how many people truly think getting a pet is good practice for being the parent of a human. I know countless people who use this as an initial excuse to get a pet, but I'm talking about people who have actually gone and done both. God knows it seems like a good idea at the time, when you are young and dumb, when you have neither. Taking care of one living thing, and doing it well, should naturally be a good predictor of being caretaker to another, right? The first clue I should have ... Read more »
A Love Letter to Mulan
I knew buying Marley and Me for the airplane trip was a bad idea. It was inevitable that I was going to read the book at some point, of course- I’m drawn to dog memoirs like flies to garbage- but maybe the timing was just a little off. It’s not like I didn’t know what was coming, after all. Death is part of the package deal, right? That is the Great Dog Story Arc- playful puppy arrives, mischief abounds, dog saves the day, at least one close brush with death, reflection on ... Read more »
The Accidental Veterinarian
No one ever asks “Why did you decide to become a vet?” It’s a fairly coveted job, up there with ballerinas and astronauts. I imagine “port-a-potty maintenance man” may have to field that question a little more often, but in my case, it’s assumed I was born with a Dr. Doolittle-esque Way With Creatures that dictated this was to be my fate. It is almost a rule. I’m an exception to that rule. I’ve always liked dogs and cats, sure, but I didn’t ... Read more »
