This is what happens when you leave me alone in the first rainstorm of the year with a bottle of port, a pile of Dr. Seuss books, and a backlog of emails asking, asking, asking, asking for me to once again be a Nice Veterinary Writer/ Pet Blogger and do some more free work. Mostly, it’s just a silly Friday I need to Apologize to Dr. Seuss Once Again kind of post. I dedicate it to all of you who know this feeling all too well.
Β E-Mails and Spam
Dr. V is me.
That Dr. V!
That Dr. V!
She likes to write,
That Dr. V.
I do not like
to write for free.
So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.
Would you write
for some treats?
I do not want to write for leashes,
I do not want to write for treatses.
I do not want to write for free,
So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.
Β Think you might?
We are huge, with tons of fans,
But we can’t pay, still, think you can?
I do not want to please your readers
Or to help you sell your feeders.
I do not want to write for free,
So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.
Feed it! Feed it! To your brood!
Could you? Should you?
For a book?
Read it! Read it! On your nook!
I would not, could not, for some food,
I know you think I’m being rude,
I do not want books to review,
My free moments number few.
I do not want to write for free,
So please don’t ask, love, Dr. V.
I know you like to cover puppies.
Here’s our product helping puppies.
Write about our site for puppies?
We value your advanced vocation,
So donate! For no compensation!
I will not, thrill not, about your puppies,
They’re cute, for sure, those little muppies.
But I too, have a job to do
And mouths to feed, and loans still new.
I do not want to write for free,
So please don’t ask, Love, Dr. V.
I sure do like that you respect,
My time and schooling, I detect
You value this as my career
And that I can’t be in arrears.
I do so like to write for fees!
I’m glad to do it. Love, Dr. V.
Deborah Mendez says
Just like Dr, Seuss, a message between the lines and rhymes! π
Dr. V says
I’m not even sure it was all that subtle, really. π
Tabitha says
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Made my day. I hope you send that out to EVERY offer you get.
Dr. V says
Tempting. π
Jordann says
Love! I also get tons of invitations to do free writing, or for some kind of amazing fee like $5. No thanks! (Although I do love to do free pet product reviews, it’s my guilty pleasure)
Dr. V says
I did, until I filled all my garage cabinets. Now, I’m over it.
Edie Jarolim says
Love this! But you missed the famous “but don’t you want the exposure”? People die of exposure, don’t you know~
Annette Frey says
True! Famous last word….
Dr. V says
I feel like I’m dying of it all the time. π
Robert says
LOVE
Dr. V says
Thanks Robert!
Sue W. says
βWeβve GOT to make noises
in greater amounts!
So, open your mouth, lad!
For every voice counts!β
I love your noises!
Dr. V says
So glad someone does. π
Woof Woof Mama says
You are MY HERO!!! I WILL be sharing this…possible as an autoreply on my email inbox!
Dr. V says
And we shall all stand up, and demand compensation, with this bad poem as our standard.
Brendan Michael Howard says
Amazing and awesome, doc.
Dr. V says
Thanks Brendan!
Peternal Instinct says
Great post! The idea that because you enjoy your work means you should do it for free is constantly frustrating! I never want to hear the words “but you can use it in your portfolio” ever again!
Dr. V says
My portfolio is just fine, thankyouverymuch. π
kamnel says
So, no? π This is awesome!
Dr. V says
No, no, so no go.
JanetGoimgCrazy says
But I will tweet you, promo, and facebook you..so you can get traffic, but from who…?
Dr. V says
Right!
Pikachu says
So Fantastical, awesome and fine , you are our hero , so divine π
Dr. V says
Woo hoo! Love comments that get right in the spirit.
schwink says
Brilliant, and hopefully cathartic!
Dr. V says
Very cathartic.
Anonymous says
LOVE IT!!!
Dawn
http://www.cheapisthenewclassy.com
Dr. V says
Thanks Dawn! π
JaneK says
HA! Good for you, Dr. V. It’s good to know how to say “no” and respect yourself and your family above all. thanks for the smiles….
Dr. V says
Thank you Jane!
Tamara says
<3 <3 <3 You are a genius, Dr. V π
Pup Fan says
LOL… absolutely perfect!
Sue Kottwitz says
Absolutely brilliant!!!