This call came in after I was gone for the day.
Receptionist: Hello, how may I help you?
Person: My dog ate some glass. What should I do?
Receptionist: You should go to the emergency room immediately. Do you have the number?
Person: Actually, I was researching it on the web and it said just to give cotton balls and metamucil. I was wondering if there was anything else I can give at home. ….bread….?
Receptionist: I don’t have any recommendations for at home remedies for your dog swallowing glass. My recommendation is to go to the vet.
Person: Why would I do that? What could possibly happen?
Receptionist: …..he could have shards of glass migrating through his internal organs?
Person: Oh. So nothing other than the cotton balls, eh?
I would have had a few suggestions, but I doubt they would be what she wanted to hear. I realize upon reflection that I am halfway through the metamorphosis into my father, crotchety and all. I realize the net is rife with such tricks and tips (I’ve also seen instructions for do-it-yourself bloat kits you can assemble at the Home Depot- shudder), but asking me to help you do it is like asking Martha Stewart how to frost a Duncan Hines cake with canned frosting. Try calling your pediatrician and asking the same question- I doubt “cotton balls” will figure anywhere in the answer.