Up was one of the best films I have seen in a long, long time. It might be my favorite Pixar movie to date and one of my favorite films ever. It solidified in my mind the Disney franchise as a solid deliverer of syrupy movie goodness. And since we know they recognize good when they see it, it makes the bad even more of a travesty.
As anyone who has been around me for any length of time can attest, I love the holidays. I love the decorations, the cheesy displays, and the specials. Oh, how I love the specials. I own something along the lines of 25 Christmas DVDs, from all the Rankin Bass classics to the Claymation one to the obscure (Life and Adventures of Santa, anyone? A Wish for Wings that Work? A VERY SMURFY CHRISTMAS???)
My point is, my bar is pretty low when it comes to acceptable holiday fare. So when my daughter pointed at the ad for Santa Buddies and said she just couldn’t wait to see it, I figured, why not? It’s a Christmas movie starring Golden Retrievers, for goodness sake. It should have been a slam dunk. (cue ominous Straight-to-DVD overtones)
I can forgive it the horrible CGI. I can forgive it the overwrought drama. But I cannot get over the feel-good premise that there is no better present for people with sick kids and no money than a free dog. And that is what it’s going for, right?
Call me a Grinch, but I was kind of rooting for poor maligned Christopher Lloyd the dogcatcher when the dad came into the pound and tried to guilt trip him into giving him that Yorkie thing while waiving the $300 adoption fee. “No,” says Doc Brown, before jumping into his DeLorean and going back to a time when he had a career.
“But I have no money!” pleads the father. “You HAVE to give me, free of charge, this adorable, extremely adoptable dog who is sure to be snatched up by the next old lady to walk through the door with nothing better to do with her retirement fund than spoil this dog. Because I want it and it would cheer our family up. At least until it gets sick, at which point I will bring it back to you because I am unable to treat it and then we’ll be even more depressed.”
“No,” reiterated the Reverend Jim, before jumping into his cab and driving to a place that serves something other than treacle for Christmas dinner. We are obviously supposed to be cheering for the misinformed undercompensated father, but I was rooting for the dogcatcher. It was around this time I realized I wouldn’t be enjoying this flick. I guess this is because I have been Christopher Lloyd- figuratively speaking-, looking someone in the face who obviously really, really wants me to give them something for free, who really, really can’t afford it otherwise. And being unmoved by their crocodile tears, because I’ve seen it all before.
But this is Disney, and since I’m not the screenwriter he was visited by three ghosts or in this case a talking dog-elf thing, and of course the poor puppy was placed on the doorstep of the desirous family on Christmas Eve, where he is sure to enjoy a life of benign neglect until they tire of him.
I wish I could write a Disney script, just once. In my version, the dad goes to a pet store at the mall, where the mean pet store owner says, “NO! You can’t have this dog for free!” The end.
Or wait! The mean pet store owner says no, and the dad goes on a quest and ends up pitted against the villainous Amish Puppy Mill Owner, Euthadiah Zoot. He is helped along on his quest by a big-hearted pit bull mix who ends up in the pound while he is helping the dad, and then he’s about to be euthanized and the dad has a change of heart and realizes that’s who he really wants and goes and bails him out.
Then he goes and works his butt off so he can pay his dog’s vet bills and take care of his entire family and they all live happily ever after, except for the fact that the mom is dead because seriously, no Disney movie is complete without a dead mother. The end.
Anyone know where to pitch this one? I think it’s a winner.
Bravo! *clapping*
For whatever it’s worth, I like your script a whole lot better. Tis the season for irresponsible pet ownership, it seems.
I vote for your script! And I’m glad for the review. My hubby was just SURE I would want to see this, but I had a bad feeling even with the cute puppies….
BTW, do you have Annabelle’s Wish? If not I recommend it as a must-have sweet animal-oriented Christmas weepie (in a good way)!
I don’t have that one! *off to check Netflix*
Ohhhh films like that invoke GREAT RAGE in me. I vote for your scenario!
I have been wanting to see A Dog Named Christmas. It looks promising. Maybe you should go rent a bunch of happy dog movies to get the bad taste out of your mouth…I wish ‘Santa Paws’ was a movie and not just a book.
‘A Dog Named Christmas’ was so very good – very pro-shelter. 🙂 And the end of the movie pointed you to Petfinder.com, where you can find a shelter in your area participating in the Foster a Lonely Pet for the Holidays program.
I’ve heard good things about A Dog Named Christmas. The title had me leery.
I vote for your script! The holidays are the worst time to be thinking of adding an animal to your family. People do things on impulse, and the animal is the one who suffers.
I’m worried that this movie with Santa Paws played by a Great Pyrenees will increase interest in a large flock guardian breed that people don’t understand its characteristics and size as an adult dog.
Also you should know, the other “buddies” disney movies they have done. Many of the puppies were hurt/killed because they didn’t take care of them. They just kept on replacing the dogs. It’s terrible how many companies test on animals or hurt/kill them and not care.
Agreed, agreed! It saddens me to think of the pets who get adopted from shelters by people who cannot afford to care for them properly. Definitely don’t want to watch a Christmas movie about it!
I have “A Dog Named Christmas” DVR’d but haven’t watched it yet because I know there will be tears. (Is there ever a dog movie without tears?) Glad to hear it’s good. I need to bite the bullet and watch it.
I vote for Dr V’s script! I used to volunteer at a shelter and one of my jobs was manning the adoption shifts. the number of people who would come in and practically BEG for you to give them an animal for free was ridiculous. especially considering we charged AU$100 for a kitten or AU$80 for a cat and that included 1st and 2nd vacc, microchip, desexing, deworming, flea treatment AND a full vet check. and people still didn’t want to cough up the money. I got very good at telling people “no”.
ooh, I’m all rage-y now!
I had an intense squee moment when you mentioned The Life and Adventures of Santa Clause. I had such a thing for fairies as a child so this became an insta-classic Christmas special for me even though my mom couldn’t stand it.
Yes, the forests of Burzee….the Great Ack….I love it!
I also vote for your script! There are too many people that believe pets are nothing more that an interesting possession. I’ve had to tune out several acquaintances when they start bringing up their pets due to how little thought they seem to put into what’s best for their animal and how some of them almost outright say that they’d rather focus on what takes the least amount of short term effort.