I admit it, I’m a reality TV addict. While other, more serious and conscientious veterinarians are catching up on their journal reading or maybe doing some online continuing education, I’m rewinding the Tivo so I can force my husband to watch Alex Wong’s routine on So You Think You Can Dance.
“I love dance,” I sighed as I reclined on the couch with my Nilla wafers. “These guys look like they’re dancing on air.”
“So what did you do today?” asked my already-bored husband.
“Um, I gave a constipated cat an enema,” I offered. “His poop still feels like rocks in his colon so if these stool softeners don’t work we have to anesthetize him to manually pull the poop out.”
My husband stared at me a moment, then decided to watch the show after all.
I’m sure dancers would tell you all sorts of unglamorous behind-the-scenes stuff too if you asked them, about torn ligaments and rotting toenails and partner BO. They don’t show that on the show, do they? Sometimes it’s better not to know. We just want to see the show!
For those looking for the high production value version of this job, I recommend James Herriot books and Marty Becker’s blog (I really do! They’re great!) But for those who like to turn rocks over with their toes and look for bugs, who want to know what happens after we leave the exam room covered in puppy kisses, well, here it is in all its depraved glory. Sticking my finger up a disgruntled cat’s rear end assessing just how hard his stools are.
Meanwhile, across the room, a dog with kennel cough sneezed a green glob of mucous into my tech’s mouth. Accounting doesn’t look so bad after all, does it?