Anyone else catch the new Grey’s Anatomy last night?
I know, I know, it’s way over-melodramatic. Two mass shootings in less than a calendar year? It’s not exactly rooted in reality.
There was a part where a guy was crashing, a guy that they really wanted to save, and Bailey starts yelling at the sky. “YOU DON’T GET HIM, YOU BASTARD!! YOU SEND HIM BACK RIGHT NOW!” or something to that effect.
And boom, just like that, the defibrillator works and Chuck is spared. Then Bailey apologizes for calling God/ Kevin/ the sky a bastard, and yaay, Chuck lives.
I’ve never known the universe to be that responsive. Usually if you yell something like that, everyone looks at you sadly, pats you on the back, and you still lose. Or you get him back for 10 seconds, then you lose him anyway, because the universe likes to do stuff like that because it’s got a habitual cruel streak.
I would love the ability to bend the universe’s will to my own with the power of my own voice. It would make my life so much easier. The idea of voicing something into reality has been around since Obi-Wan sent the Storm Troopers packing on Tatooine, but this version is updated for a new millennium’s sensibilities: Louder. More aggressive. More yelly.
“YOU SEND THAT DOG BACK RIGHT NOW! STOP MAKING THOSE RBCS HEMOLYZE DAMMIT!” and voila, IMHA is cured. Or, “YOU APPROVE THAT ESTIMATE RIGHT NOW YOU BASTARD!” and the owner approves the surgery rather than taking their cat home with a broken leg. Or, “YOU GIVE ME THAT CUPCAKE RIGHT NOW!” and the lady at the cupcake store hands it over, as opposed to calling the cops.
But my feet tread on terra firma as opposed to the wispy unicorny dream realm of Shonda Rimes’ imagination, so despite the steady cacophony of yelling in my head, in these situations I can only purse my lips, glare at the wall, and take on the world the old fashioned way.