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You are here: Home / Daily Life / Keep off the grass

Keep off the grass

November 29, 2011 by Dr. V

A couple of months ago, we started having problems with our sprinklers. Because we live in what is basically the desert, this means that within one month most of our backyard was dead. Not that the grass was ever in great shape to start with, I suppose.

Anyway, we are slowly trying to put it back together, starting with two little patches of what has been dirt for a very long time but was at one point grass. For now, it is again.

“Do NOT,” my husband said, “under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let the dogs on the sod for two weeks.”

And I tried, I really did. They didn’t tear a single piece up. And after two weeks of standing out in the rain and the cold shooing the dogs away from it, because of course despite the other hundreds of feet of foliage that little 20 square foot area of grass exerts an inexorable gravitational pull on all things dog, he then issued this directive: “Do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let the dogs on the grass EVER.”

Which is, as you can imagine, a little tougher.

On Thanksgiving I was informed there was a pile of poop on the grass, which I thought about blaming on wild animals before remembering the backyard is all fenced in.

Then there was this:

And this:

And I just don’t know what to say. I could have sworn I was watching them every second but they must be super stealth pee-ers.
Picnik collage

I can’t decide which one looks more guilty.

Husband is particularly picky on this since we’re possibly putting the house on the market next year. Nothing like a polka dot lawn to say, “buy me!”

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Filed Under: Daily Life Tagged With: Brody, grass, Kekoa

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ashley Dzubak says

    November 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    I think the black one looks guiltier, but that golden looks just too pleased… Hmm Maybe you have two stealth pee-ers?

  2. Laura Edmondson Amerman says

    November 29, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    I’d consider artificial turf, needs no water and stands up to stealth peeing!

  3. Sue W. says

    November 29, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    I would suggest thoroughly hosing that patch of grass every time you let the dogs out, thus eradicating pee burns. But I’m pretty sure then you’d hear “Do you know how much that water is costing us?” or “you are overwatering the lawn” or “haven’t you heard there’s a drought?” I dunno. I can’t figure it out so I’ve withdrawn from the lawn skirmish. Just buy some green spray paint.

  4. Cathey says

    November 29, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    Poor Koa always looks guilty, as Brody always seems to look satisfied! But then there are more than one spot . . . . I’m thinking Sue has the idea with green spray paint!

  5. Michelle Cotton says

    November 29, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    LOL, I gave up on our lawn a long time ago. When we go to sell our house (hopefully next year) I’m going for size over quality as the selling point.

    In your case, I think Brody looks far too pleased with himself, “heheheh, You know you love me.” And poor Koa is all, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.”

  6. Amy says

    November 29, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    More likely than not it is Kekoa (sorry girl) because girls usually take care of urine at once where guys like to spread it out more. Guys also seem to like to aim at bushes, trees, lampposts, etc, while girls are just looking for the best spot. Best answer is to thoroughly water the area once they come in because they can be quick!

  7. jeanne says

    November 29, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    they make a spray that you can use to neutralize pee, and i think i special paint type stuff, too. personally. i’d just put a decorative fence around it to keep the dogs out. or just put in new sod when you list it and worry about that sod, then. what fun is a fenced in yard if you have to patrol all the time?

  8. Kim says

    November 29, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Totally depends on the market – we learned that sellers here didn’t do squat to prepare their homes for sale. The market was flooded, sure, with lots and lots of bad places. Clean your house, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and sweep the tumbleweeds away, you’ll be fine…patchy grass and all.

  9. Kim says

    November 29, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Totally depends on the market – we learned that sellers here didn’t do squat to prepare their homes for sale. The market was flooded, sure, with lots and lots of bad places. Clean your house, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and sweep the tumbleweeds away, you’ll be fine…patchy grass and all.

  10. Kim says

    November 29, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Totally depends on the market – we learned that sellers here didn’t do squat to prepare their homes for sale. The market was flooded, sure, with lots and lots of bad places. Clean your house, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and sweep the tumbleweeds away, you’ll be fine…patchy grass and all.

  11. Kim says

    November 29, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Totally depends on the market – we learned that sellers here didn’t do squat to prepare their homes for sale. The market was flooded, sure, with lots and lots of bad places. Clean your house, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and sweep the tumbleweeds away, you’ll be fine…patchy grass and all.

  12. Kim says

    November 29, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Totally depends on the market – we learned that sellers here didn’t do squat to prepare their homes for sale. The market was flooded, sure, with lots and lots of bad places. Clean your house, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and sweep the tumbleweeds away, you’ll be fine…patchy grass and all.

  13. Cathy says

    November 30, 2011 at 1:07 am

    We put spaghetti sauce in the dogs food and there are no burn marks. Just a tablespoonful of the cheap stuff. We have four god and no bare spots.

  14. Robert West says

    December 3, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Oh no!

    Had a question about this on the blog recently. It’s the nitrogen in the wee that creates the patch. To get rid of it, you just need to water those areas of the grass more to dilute it.

    Incidentaly, it’s usually the girlie’s….

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