If you're ever in need of an escape to reset your head and find a little bit of peace in the chaos that swirls around you, I highly recommend Thailand. I have lots of stories and photos to share about the elephants I met, but today I have a different story to tell. Although not quite intentional, when I planned this trip I realized I was returning the day before my son's tenth birthday, which is also the one year anniversary of my mother's death. To spend the two weeks leading up to it in a ... Read more »
grief
Why You are More Powerful Than Any Counselor
The phone rings, and I answer it with an admittedly impatient voice since someone sold my phone number to a marketer and I've been getting deluged with spam calls all week. I have the phone in one hand and Brody's tail in the other, as he chewed up his bandage when I wasn't looking and now I have to re-wrap the whole thing. It's Chaplain Gary this time, calling as he does, every few months, to see how I am doing. I met him once, when he came to the house to talk to the kids when my mom was ... Read more »
Grief is a hot potato
Ever since I started this blog, and even moreso since writing All Dogs Go to Kevin, people write to tell me about their pets who are no longer with them. They used to apologize for writing, or say they weren't even sure why they were telling me about their pet, but most people don't do that anymore. I think they know that they don't need to explain. As followers of the blog know, I love birthdays. Birthdays are fun, and I love love love that my birthday coincides with National Dog Day. I ... Read more »
We Will Remember You: A Pet Loss Memorial Candle Ceremony
There is something vastly powerful about going through grief with friends. It validates, it resonates, it comforts. When it comes to losing a pet, too many of us are forced to endure the pain without that camaraderie of a circle of friends. To that end, and because I know so many people continue to hurt and feel alone in their grief over the loss of a beloved pet, The Tiniest Tiger and I are hosting a Pet Loss Candle Ceremony next Wednesday, February 5th, at 6 pm PST. What Will ... Read more »
What to Say to Someone in Mourning
This morning, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Joanne McGonagle over at The Tiniest Tiger for a Google Hangout on the topic of pet loss. I had this whole long post about how easy it is to get wrong and how hard it is to get right, but rather than go through the long sordid tales of all the times I've said the exact wrong thing I thought I would instead sum up what we, along with all the wonderful participants, concluded during the course of the talk. Some of the statements are specific ... Read more »
The Dude’s Guide to Losing a Pet
In my thirty something years on this planet, I've never seen my father cry. I think part of me assumed for a really long time that men simply just didn't feel things as intensely as women did, which of course is not true at all. As a society, men are pressured from the get-go to bottle up any sort of sadness or grief, hammer it down, force it inward. The very word "man up" sums it up: outward signs of sadness are feminine, wussy, and will get you devoured. I don't think it's inherently this ... Read more »
Tip Number One in the Grieving Process: Get Takeout
Everyone processes grief differently. From those who wear it all on their sleeve to those who bottle it in and let it slowly eat them up inside to those who tackle an entirely unrelated project with distracted abandon, being sad is a universal condition we all have to figure out how to deal with. I grew up in New England. We're taught from an early age not to show sadness. Or happiness, or anything, really, other than a mild general irritation with other human beings. "Be like a cement ... Read more »
