I was certain when I had kids that my motherhood chip would finally kick in, that I would finally start to react to babies the way I reacted to dogs and cats. Because surely that maternal instinct in my heart had merely been misdirected all these years, and was simply in need of a little oxytocin and fine-tuning to point it to the appropriate species upon which I should lavish my affection. Now my kids are 11 and 9 and I can say this with absolute certainty: not so much. Don't get me ... Read more »
Musings
California’s End of Life Option Act and How it Would have Changed Mom’s Death
In 2014, a young, vibrant woman named Brittany Maynard moved from the home in California she had known all her life so that she could die on her own terms in Oregon. Diagnosed with glioblastoma, arguably one of the most monstrous forms of cancer in this world, Maynard was willing to uproot her life, put her face out into the world, and share a most intimate decision with a universe of strangers in order to help people understand why someone might make the decision to hasten their death. With ... Read more »
Amidst the ashes and embers, a veterinarian saves the day
The fire came in the night, a storm without warning. At his home in Middletown, a small town of 1900 just north of California's idyllic wine country, veterinarian Jeff Smith ventured outside after the worst had passed to find only 8 of the 20 homes in his neighborhood survived the firestorm. With communication centers down, there was no way to determine when help was coming. He had no way of knowing what he was up against, or the fact that by this time only 40% of the structures in ... Read more »
Grief is a hot potato
Ever since I started this blog, and even moreso since writing All Dogs Go to Kevin, people write to tell me about their pets who are no longer with them. They used to apologize for writing, or say they weren't even sure why they were telling me about their pet, but most people don't do that anymore. I think they know that they don't need to explain. As followers of the blog know, I love birthdays. Birthdays are fun, and I love love love that my birthday coincides with National Dog Day. I ... Read more »
Save tons at the vet! How to keep your dog from dying of cancer
As a veterinarian, I've seen lots of cancers: lymphoma. Melanoma. Osteosarcoma. Hemangiosarcoma. Mast cell tumors. Wait, those are just my own dogs I'm talking about. When I factor in my clients, I think I've seen it all. Dogs get cancer, at very high rates: about 50% of senior dogs die of it, if the statistics are to be believed. Why? Well, if you read overly simplified, graphics-intensive websites by people who really don't know what they're talking about, they will tell you that they know ... Read more »
Balancing the scales in medicine
I am becoming increasingly convinced the communication gap between veterinarians and clients is the number one problem we've failed to solve. We're just not on the same page a lot of the time, it seems, and it makes me sad. I can't read a single article online without coming across "veterinarians are money grubbing pigs that suck" (true blog title) and someone else saying "if you can't afford x/y/z/q you shouldn't have gotten a pet, jerk." I feel as though this is perhaps a bit extreme, but it's ... Read more »
Confessions of an Agnawstic
A few weeks ago, while my publicist was asking online dog lovers if they might be interested in reviewing my book, he came back with a question: "Do you recommend Science Diet or raw?" he asked. "It's really not an either/or thing," I said. "The book doesn't talk about nutrition at all." "Well, one of the people we approached said they only write about things from a raw food perspective," he said. "Oh, then they don't want my book," I said. "It's just from a dog lover's perspective." ... Read more »
How Emmett helped save me from depression
When people ask me what my book is about, I feel silly saying, "Dogs," so I've been trying to refine it. I got a little further: "3 Dogs," and then, "3 dogs who were really important to me and also it's about my friend Kevin and a funny play on words," and then I took a break. It didn't really hit me until my mom got sick: This is a book about the purpose dogs have in our lives, about how they are here for a discrete space and time and change us for the better in very specific ways. And the ... Read more »
Profound Things
I wrote my mother's eulogy the day of the service, this Sunday. I was stuck. I wanted to share all the profound things we had said to one another over the years, but we just didn't have that kind of relationship defined by meaningful, deep philosophical conversations. As I sat with Brody's head in my lap, it occurred to me that we also did not share in deep conversations, but it never lessened our bond. As soon as I thought about that, it all started to come. My mother was not one for ... Read more »
Just keep swimming
Has it already been a week since my mother died? I feel like I've been in a haze, dropped in the middle of the ocean and swimming only because I have to, not because I actually know where I'm going. I've found a new appreciation for Dory, a different nuance in Finding Nemo. I don't know why life insists on dumping everything on us all at once instead of pacing things one month at a time, but it seems to be a rather consistent theme. What I'd like to be doing right now is sitting in bed with ... Read more »
Brain Food
Did you know tomorrow is National Donut Day? Donuts have always held a special place in my family's heart. Mystical, you might even say. I grew up in New England, where Dunkin Donuts are as ubiquitous as Starbucks and McDonalds. Driving through for a box of Munchkins was our way of celebrating, commiserating, or simply getting a sugar fix. For my grandfather, the Dunk was also a neighborhood gathering place where he went to shoot the breeze, down a jelly donut with a coffee regular (it's a ... Read more »
And still we are here
So here we are. I wake up every morning and do what I have to do, because that is what you do, and write articles about broken toenails and plan for the book release, and then when I pause in my activities I remember: oh yes. That. It wasn't a bad dream. I have done what I am supposed to do. We held hands and stood in the face of a futile fight, and laid down our weapons. You may come, death. We do not fear you. And yet now that we have welcomed him, he hesitates, the rotten bastard. We ... Read more »
The 5 Gratitudes and the Very Important Question
Today marks five weeks since my mother's diagnosis with aggressive Grade IV glioblastoma, five weeks since my family's lackadaisical spring was hit by a grenade that launched us into the surreal world of watching someone next to you on the beach suddenly snatched away by a rogue wave and pulled, slowly but inexorably, off by a receding tide. I thought I would be much more angry than I am, angry at the unfairness of a universe that takes her in such a cruel manner while it leaves behind the ... Read more »
The Everything in Nothing
I know I've been remiss in posting, and I wish very much I could say it's because I've been so busy creating amazing and exciting book campaigns and creating a plan to hit the NY Times Bestseller List in July. I still want to, don't get me wrong, and I still plan to at least give it ago. But that's not why I've been quiet. I guess you could say I've been doing nothing. Nothing. Let me explain. I've said to many people when I started working with as a hospice veterinarian two years ago it ... Read more »
Do No Harm
I always assumed my experience as a veterinarian would serve me at some point when I needed to navigate the human healthcare system. The similarities between veterinary training and medical training, after all, lend themselves to a good number of similarities: how to read scientific articles critically. How to read an MRI. When to call the office and say, this prescription doesn't seem quite right, is this what you wanted? The similarities are all well and good, but I never understood, in the ... Read more »
How to be happy in 4 simple steps
This month's JAVMA features confirmation of what those of us in the profession for more than a year or two already suspected: veterinarians are a sad bunch, compared to the general population. Consider these stats from the CDC's first-ever survey of the veterinary population: 1 in 6 have considered suicide; 25% of men and 37% of women in the profession report depressive episodes; 1.1% of men and 1.4% of women have attempted suicide; That last stat is the only one where vets figure in ... Read more »
Two things people always say when a pet dies at home and other DeathLord lessons
Life is weird in lots of way. Things happen for a reason, and you have to kind of be open to what life's going to throw at you because you certainly aren't going to expect most of it. Even the good stuff. Especially the good stuff, which is often hidden in bad stuff. When I go to a house for a euthanasia, people invariably say one of two things: 1. This must be so hard. 2. I wish we had this for people. The answer to both is "I agree." The interesting part is that they ... Read more »
An open letter to Kevin Smith and his dog Mulder
Dear Kevin, I'm sure you get fan letters all the time, from people who love your art: Clerks, Dogma, Chasing Amy. I think Chasing Amy was one of the first movies I watched with my boyfriend, who is now my husband. He thinks you're the cheese. I think you are a great writer, and like all great writers you have an amazing willingness to share things that other people hold close. Painful things, like a humiliating experience with an airline or, in this case, the terribly personal loss of a ... Read more »
