I have a love-hate relationship with foxtails. On the one hand, they are nasty. Little sharp spiky pieces of grass material with tiny microscopic retrograde barbs that cause them to migrate on a one-way trip into yucksville, they like nothing better than to jump onto a dog's fur and burrow into just about any orifice they can find. I've pulled them from eyes, ears, noses, tonsils, toes, vulvas, prepuces, teeth- you name a surface, I've seen a foxtail in it. On the other hand, they sure do ... Read more »
goofing off
On safari: It’s Good to be King
It's springtime on the savannah, and our Goldenbeast is growing up. With his first birthday rapidly approaching, the Goldenbeast is reveling in his newfound authority, standing on the precipice of adulthood just as springtime waits to ascend into summer. He has, for example, taken ownership of prime savannah real estate. ... Read more »
Blah blah blah posting blah
Any science nerd worth his or her salt is a Gary Larson fan. The guy is a genius. I can't possibly pick a favorite one of his cartoons (though the bummer of a birthmark is up there), but anyone with a dog will remember the famous "Blah Blah Ginger" cartoon: We all know this experience is not limited to conversations with dogs. ... Read more »
The Adventures of Doc Slicey: Chapter One
I kicked open the door and saw the dame sitting by my office desk right away. Kiki. This meant trouble. "What are you doing here, kitten?" I growled, putting down my java and sliding my hand to make sure I was still packing heat. The cold steel of my shiv pressed against my palm. "Some hoodlum acting up again?" "We got trouble over in the cell, Doc," she said. "Jerky Maloy got popped in the schnozzle but he ain't cooperating." Doc- that's me. Doc Slicey. I pack a shot of joe in my left ... Read more »
The Usual Suspects
Pawcurious Police Department Law Enforcement Incident Report Date: 03/26/2010 Time Printed: 0715 Incident Number: 012345 INCIDENT DATA: Incident Type: HOMICIDE Address of Occurence: DR V'S YARD Weapon Used: TEETH Domestic: YES ... Read more »
When Irish eyes are smilin’
Did you know Emmett's original name was Seamus? He was a right red lad, that he was. And each day, Brody looks more and more like him. I wouldn't have chosen that- in fact I was pretty clear I did NOT want that- but now that he's here, I wouldn't have it any other way. And trust me, that little leprechaun is an Irish rogue through and through. So in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I will once again impose upon you with my bad poetry skills. Limericks, of course. Remember, there is no such ... Read more »
On Safari: Herd Management
No single person has a more challenging job at the reserve than the game warden. His role is to maintain healthy populations that remain diverse. Every so often, this includes the introduction of a new species into daily life on the savannah. ... Read more »
Sonnet XVII
When I was in high school, I loved to write poetry. Sonnets, limericks, haiku, you name it, I did it. Something about the juxtaposition of the rigidity of the writing structure with the creative challenge of expressionistic thought was very appealing to me. I never said it was good poetry, though. That is why I majored in biology. These days, I limit my poetry to once or twice a year, and I present it with the clear disclaimer that it is bad poetry, which doesn't make it any better but at ... Read more »
The Trouble With Barbie 2
Most Barbies only come out once or twice: NASCAR Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Spongebob Barbie, etc. But there are some that, for obvious reasons, keep coming back in multiple incarnations for each new generation of starry eyed little girls. This is why I have 5 versions of Pet Vet Barbie. The old ones weren't so bad. Why each successive one has been stranger and stranger is open to postulation, but even I couldn't explain what the heck Mattel was thinking with their latest offering of Pet Vet ... Read more »
Vet magic tricks
We're all a little on edge these days, with all the mayhem, destruction and parvo we've been seeing lately. So much so that when any puppy with a peep of diarrhea comes in, my techs have taken to whisking it into the back, shouting "POSSIBLE PARVO! OUTTA MY WAY!!" as they rush by with a little furry ball into the isolation ward. I don't blame them. It's been a long couple of weeks. So when I saw a little furball go whizzing by this morning, I sighed inwardly. I asked the tech to get a parvo ... Read more »
I’ve got a song in my heart
Since we're all singing along to the 12 Days anyway, here's an alternate version. On the 16th of December, my clients came to me: 10 toenails too long corneal ulcer perfing Demodex infection fiiiive days off food! lameness of the foot yeasty ears scooting itchy butt And they all wanted treatment for free! To balance it out, I had the pleasure of seeing one of my favorite clients for the first time since we cried in the back room together over his beloved dog who had been hit by a car. ... Read more »
You’re a bad one, Mr. Brode
You're a stinker, Mr. Brode. You really have some gall! You won't stop jumping on me And chasing kitty down the hall Mr. Broooooooo-ode I was going to wait until you were a year but I think I have no choice To go ahead and remove your balls! You're a rotter, Mr. Brode. You're the king of eating junk! Your belly's full of earplugs and your ears are full of gunk Mr. Broo-ode! The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote: STINK, STANK, STUNK!!* *In a fit of pique ... Read more »
