I volunteer in my kids' classrooms on a quasi-regular basis. I do it because they need the help, not because I have a great deal to contribute to the average 5 year old. Yes, even now, they still scare me. The first time I went in, the kindergarten teacher had several tasks for me to choose from. One, pull a bunch of papers out of some books and then sort them. Admin stuff. Two, call the kids back one by one to work on writing their names. Uh oh. Interactive stuff. I never know what to do ... Read more »
Mother of the Year
Born to Be Wild: finally getting a movie right!
You all remember the Tyrannosaur movie debacle? It's taken me all this time to work up enough nerve to go to another science museum movie after leaving the theater with two howling kids in tow. In the interim, we went to see Disney's African Cats, which was another hot mess ("Mommy, why are all the kittens dead?" etc) and didn't help my opinion of modern nature documentaries. When I was reading all the sad reviews of African Cats, dubbing it "most depressing nature film ever made" and that ... Read more »
Kitty Purry
Here's one of the great things about raising pets: sure, your lack of training may turn them into ill behaved mischief makers, but it's much harder to really screw them up psychologically than it is kids. Teach them sit, stay, and a few basic manners and for the most part, you have harmony. Kids, on the other hand, are almost impossible not to mess up. You either neglect them or spoil them, demean them or overly praise them, treat them like Oliver Twist or Veruca Salt. No matter what you do, ... Read more »
Good art challenges you
My daughter had a dance recital this weekend. Instead of flowers, the in-laws thought to get her something a little more long-lasting and picked up a Fur Real stuffed dog thing she has been wanting. She was very happy about this. A day later, she was upstairs, playing with some friends politely and quietly. This usually means trouble, so I popped in to check on them. The first clue something was amiss was the pungent odor of nail polish, which is supposed to be one of those "only under adult ... Read more »
Dog vs Stroller
Here is the lake path I have mentioned in a previous post. With summer upon us, it is even busier than usual (though you can't really tell by this photo.) You see all types on this path: young, old, big, small, athletes sprinting and elderly hobbling. There are tons of dogs, and tons of strollers, and a good smattering of dogs in strollers. Cyclists like this path too, and I've seen such strange sights as unicycles, tandem bikes, and rowing bicycles. ... Read more »
Jiminy Brody
I had the nicest day yesterday. For a while, at least. I decided to go for a walk down by the water with the Brodester. It was overcast, not yet full of summer crowds, and perfect. "Oh ho!" I said to myself. "Since I'm here I might as well pop on over to the most amazing farm stand in the world." It's a little hole in the wall that you have to know about in order to find, but its small size belies what lies within. I'm not kidding when I say this place has magic produce. Alice Waters ... Read more »
Everything I know about kids I learned from puppy class
I was talking with one of the other school moms this morning, and we were both singing the praises of our intrepid Girl Scout troop leader. She is like this dervish of glitter and badges and healthy snacks and perfectly organized Excel lists and always has every activity immaculately planned, plus she loves rescue dogs to boot. I mean, could we get any luckier? I am co-leader, I guess you could say Vice Leader, and much like the Vice President I don't do much. I offer moral support and ... Read more »
The long slow descent down the totem pole
I loved this recent post over at PetMd by Dr. Khuly talking about the association between becoming a new parent and having your pet pack on the pounds. I think anyone who has had a new baby as well as a pet can relate. Sure, everyone tells themselves, "Oh no! I know other people put their pets on the back burner but not me! I'm going to carry my kid around in a papoose and just go out with a jogging stroller every day at 5 am and we'll be just fine!" And yes, some people actually do that, and ... Read more »
I am Capuchin
I spend a lot of time eavesdropping on the conversations of the other parents in my kids' classes. I try to participate when I have something pertinent to add, but the conversations are often about things I don't have much to say about: tanning jeans PTA meetings All three topics about which I quickly find myself in over my head. So I mostly listen, and nod at what seems like appropriate intervals. This week, the topic was Spring Break. Some parents are working, and the kids will ... Read more »
Why I never get invited to block parties
Apollo's been looking exceptionally mangy lately. It happens whenever he's been getting into the foods he shouldn't have, which is pretty much all of them. I do the best I can, but with the household we have, it is pretty much impossible to keep all foods out of reach of all animals at all times. There are dogs eating, kids snacking, people munching at all hours of the day, and all it takes is one forgotten nugget for Apollo to go temporarily bald. This despite the fact that he feasts on ... Read more »
Love is in the air (at least I think that’s what it is)
Why do we humans have to make love so complicated? I've spent the last week listening to radio ads appealing to desperate men without a clue what to get for their mate: bears? chocolate? jewelry? pajamas? flowers? massages? Screw this one up and you could be paying for weeks, the ads direly imply. Kids don't have it much easier. When I was in elementary school, I would stress for days over which Valentine to give to which kid. Tommy's gross, so I can't give him the "Be Mine" ones. He gets the ... Read more »
You Will Love Me
Since we had the day off yesterday, I schlepped the kids to our local Safari Park for a little walk on the wild side. If you know anything about San Diego, you've probably heard about the World Famous San Diego Zoo (and that is how it refers to itself, the World Famous San Diego Zoo- there's confidence!) but you might not have heard about its wallflower sibling, the San Diego Wild Animal Park/Safari Park/whatever it's being called these days. Aside from its location in an often sweltering ... Read more »
Tomorrow we’re watching Nightmare on Elm Street
I think I'm going to need to start a whole new category for the myriad ways I am scarring my children for life. I can title it, "This is why it's good I did not choose a career path involving children." I'm not the cool parent. I'm not even the nerdy parent where it's ok because they know they are the nerdy parent and it's almost kind of geek-chic. I'm the nerdy parent who thinks they are cool, and that is about as bad as you can get, because I clearly lack judgment about this whole kid ... Read more »
The fish curse continues, sorta
I went to feed the new betta tonight and I couldn't find him in the tank. I fully admit that I cursed like a sailor as I peered around the tank (at least the kids weren't around to hear it.) Then, I spotted him- chilling in the little filter: you know, the little box that hangs off the back of the tank? How the HECK did he get in there? The only thing I can possibly fathom is that he got sucked up the tube that pulls water into the filter. He seems like he would be too big for it, but ... Read more »
First impressions die hard
This week marks my daughter's second week of first grade. The first week of first grade was rather tough. They don't post the list of classes until one day before- of course this is done by design, to avoid the principal being hunted down at her home by hordes of "concerned" helicopter parents wanting to discuss the reasoning behind Timmy's classroom assignment. Of course, my daughter was given the one assignment I didn't want her to have- a combination class with a group of first and ... Read more »
I’m not cut out for the ref job
My children have spent the wee dawning days of summer re-enacting the World Cup. On this side, representing the Bipedia, we have the Daughter and the Son. On the other side, from the United Republic of Retrievers, we have Koa and Brody. And we're off! Daughter runs the ball, easily dodges Koa, and heads down the field. Son goes running after, screaming that he wants a turn. The goalie stands firm. Daughter feigns to the side, then punts the ball past the goalie, who pounces on it, ... Read more »
All I really need to know I learned while my daughter was in kindergarten
Yesterday was a really bittersweet day for me. It was my daughter's last day of kindergarten. I didn't think it would hit me quite this hard, but it really got me right in the throat to watch all the little munchkins skip up to the teacher with their little cardboard caps to pick up their kindergarten diplomas. The teacher took them down to the field for a few minutes to run some energy off before the afternoon graduation party, and while they were doing that I joined a couple of the parents ... Read more »
I can handle it.
Gross stuff, I mean. *I deal in gross stuff on a day to day basis- diarrhea, blood, bloody diarrhea, and abscesses. Cat bite abscesses, the Grandaddy of Nastiness. It is important that you keep this in mind as I tell you this story. I was very happy when my daughter's kindergarten teacher recently asked me to be one of the chaperones on their very first field trip. They were going to a nature reserve, and as a biology major and lover of all that nature-y stuff I couldn't imagine a more fun ... Read more »
