Magic 8 Ball

I have a Magic 8 Ball. I bought it a few months ago as a joke, to consult in those cases where I’m not allowed to do any diagnostics or confirm any suspicions, where my hunch based solely on my history and physical exam is supposed to definitively diagnose a disease and give an accurate prognosis.

On a few occasions, I have eventually been able to confirm Magic 8 Ball’s predictions. There is a small problem. My Magic 8 Ball is ALWAYS RIGHT.

Always right, to the point where it’s a little scary, and I’m not one to believe in Magic 8 Balls, crystal balls, or Scientology. I have decided to believe it is a series of consistent and eerie coincidences that will eventually be wrong. Until that happens I use it sparingly. With great power comes great responsibility. I am just glad that this mystic piece of plastic fell into my hands, and not that of someone less scrupulous who’d take it to Vegas and never be heard from again.

I’m going to post some of my results until my winning streak ends. Shall we calibrate it? I promise not to make anything up.

MAGIC 8 BALL, IS CESAR MILLAN THE END ALL BE ALL OF ANIMAL BEHAVIOR?

Concentrate and ask again.

MAGIC 8 BALL, IS CESAR MILLAN THE GREATEST, MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE ANIMAL BEHAVIOR EXPERT OUT THERE?

My sources say no.

MAGIC 8 BALL, IS THAT GUY WHO WROTE MARLEY AND ME WRONG FOR GLOSSING OVER HIS UNWILLINGNESS TO TRAIN HIS DOG AND PORTRAYING BLOAT AS A GLAMOROUS BUT UNAVOIDABLE CONSEQUENCE OF GETTING OLD IN ORDER TO MAKE HIMSELF SYMPATHETIC AND SELL MORE COPIES OF HIS MEMOIR?

….lands on a corner…. (shake again)

Without a doubt.

Told ya it was creepy!