Scene: Joann’s fabric store. Dr. V on her lunch break, perusing fabrics for an upcoming very special crafting project.
In the background, two ‘normal’ looking women pushing babies in carts. The carts are piled high with calico, fabrics with little kewpie dolls, and fuzzy velour.
As Dr. V looks on, the two women begin arguing loudly over which gingham best matches the fabrics they’re selected for their quilt/baby bedding/whatever.
Woman 1: Excuse me, can you help settle an argument?
Dr. V: Huh? Oh, uh, ok.
Woman 2: So, we’re trying to decide which fabric works best with a sun-and-moon pattern like this one. Do you like the clouds……or the cows?
Dr. V: Um, clouds. Hey, since we’re talking, can you help me pick out a fabric? (holds up a red fabric and a burgundy one)
Woman 1: Sure. What are you making?
Dr. V: Well, I need to figure out which one looks more like meat.
Woman 2: … Meat?
Dr. V: The red one is brighter, but I think the burgundy one looks more like raw meat. What do you think?
Woman 1: Uh…..
Dr. V: And do you think rickrack would work for the marbling? Or should I go with tulle?
Woman 2 (backing up): Oh, um, I think they called our number at the cutting table….
I thought it was a reasonable question. Dogs need crafts too. The good news is the women stopped asking me questions after that.