Batten down the hatches- here it comes!

I knew when I woke up to grey, angry skies that I was in for a morning and a half. Something just felt off, a strange electric charge in the air, if you will.

I promised I would spend the morning sharing pet healthcare tips at the Helen Woodward Animal Center Hope Telethon, something I was happy to do. I had my lines prepared, my makeup done. I was there with Mike Arms and Marcie Grube and all the wonderful people who make that facility a success, chatting with the reporter, and having a great time when suddenly I heard it.*

A muffled yell in the background. A screech of metal, a whiff of ozone, and the cameras cut out.

I ran to the green room and grabbed my backpack, where I had my crossbow squirreled away. “It’s the zombies, isn’t it?” I asked a panicked production assistant. He nodded in terror.

“I have to get to the bears,” I said, and ran.

I saw Marcie in the hall. “I know a place to go,” I said. “It’s up in Alpine- we’ll be surrounded by hungry carnivores. Come on!”

She shook her head. “I have to protect the puppies,” she said courageously, and marched back into the telethon. Brave, brave Marcie. When I looked for the last time, the Animal Center team had formed a circle around the puppies and kittens that had come to the studio for the event. I said a silent prayer for them as I slipped out. I only saw one zombie on my way out, a slow mover who had his eyes fixed on a piece of Pupperoni someone had dropped in the parking lot. I scurried behind him and made it to the car in one piece, and sped down the lonely highway out to Alpine.

And here I am. I don’t know about you, but I plan to survive this thing. And I’m not alone- to see the other members of the Blogpocalypse Survival Team, go check them out here. This thing is going down from Ohio to Nebraska to Canada!

Welcome to Blogpocalypse 2011, everyone. We’ve got pulp fiction. We’ve got bad fiction. We’ve got giveaways and survival tips and zombie slaying galore, all for your reading pleasure as I battle flesh eaters and sleep deprivation in the company of some amazing creatures who are going to help me as much as I help them. Is it real? Is it all a dream? You’ll just have to wait and see.

*(This was the start of the bad fiction part)

In this first hour I need to unpack my weapons and survey the premises. I have some electric fences to secure and some trenches to dig. Dr. Finch and I will be having a draw-off at some point during the night of the strange creatures we have seen, so if you have suggestions for scary things for me to crudely render, please, toss out ideas. We have a full 24 hours we need to survive here, so make yourself at home.

So who’s here? Stand up and let me see you.