Me: So what did you learn in school today? Daughter: I learned snakes eat mice. Me: And so they do. Daughter: I got to see one do it. Me: Oh....did you watch a movie or something? ... Read more »
Daily Life
Things that strike terror into my heart
You all remember the Great Apple the Hamster Switcheroo I mentioned last week, right? It all went down at the home of the resident kindergarten rabble-rouser, a sweet yet entirely Tasmanian Devil-esque bundle of unrestrained kid energy. Let's call him Harold, just because. If you asked me in December who would win the "Most Likely to Accidentally Lose or Otherwise Injure a Small Animal" award I would have picked Harold. He just has that "Ohwowlookabugcoolcheckitout*SQUISH*ohwhoopshahah" sort ... Read more »
Juvenile delinquent
When my daughter's class went to Sea World earlier this week (I know, don't get me started) I was not asked to chaperone. That was OK with me, for several reasons: 1. I got to chaperone the awesome trip to the wildlife preserve in January. 2. You all know how I feel about Sea World. One other reason: I found out that many of the parents invited to chaperone were so asked because the teacher was afraid that without direct parental supervision, their children would end up running around ... Read more »
Call of the day
Receptionist: Hello, thank you for calling. How may I help you? Caller: Hi, I was wondering if you had prednisone? Receptionist: Yes...it's a prescription medication though. Do you need a refill? Caller: Well, I just called PetStore to ask if they carried it over the counter and they said no. Receptionist: Are you a client here? Caller: Huh? Oh, no. I got some from my regular vet for my dog because he had a platelet problem and I ran out. Can I get some more? Receptionist: You ... Read more »
This one’s for the kitties (well, the dogs can come too. And the hedgehogs.)
A few weeks ago, I was approached by Young Again Pet Food to see if I would like a sample of cat food for Apollo. They said, quite reasonably I thought, that Apollo deserved a go at a sample of a high quality food and they thought he might really like theirs. I'm quite sure he would, actually. But as you probably know by now, his incredibly sensitive allergic body rejects a wide array of proteins and grains regardless of their quality, including the chicken found in Young Again's cat formula, ... Read more »
Honorary Hamster-mom
I am not the biggest hamster fan. I admit my experience with them is somewhat scarce- up until vet school my entire knowledge of them was limited to the Hamster Dance site. Having never owned one, my handling time has been brief, but the handful I've gotten to work with have all proven to be hell on hamster wheels. I didn't know a creature so small and round could turn around and bite so quickly- at least until I had to pick one up.* When one comes in to the clinic, I make my technician pick ... Read more »
Mother’s Day Gift Guide
Today I put in a few extra hours at my daughter's school in preparation for Mother's Day. Yep, on my day off I went in to help someone else's kids make presents for their moms who also had the day off but aren't the helping types. I was OK with this until one of the little rugrats (there's a paste eater in every class, isn't there?) colored all over his hands with permanent marker while I was working with the other 24 kids in the room. The teacher panicked, "Why did you use permanent ... Read more »
Love and redemption
I think I have mentioned here that I lived in Los Angeles for 5 years. 5 nutty, weird years in La-la land- 4 of them getting a bachelor's degree, and one more trying to figure out what to do with it. That was the year, if you might recall, that I worked for the Beverly Hills erectile dysfunction specialist on the Viagra clinical trials, fielding phone calls from beleaguered geriatric Golden Age actors who simply HAD to be on the little blue pill trial. I learned many things in LA. 1. Yes, ... Read more »
Lola the Underwear Eater
I had no idea National Geographic had an entire television show devoted to the garbage dogs eat. It's called "My Dog Ate What?" And the answer is, their dog ate enough for an entire series on Tuesday nights. Part Emergency Vets, part Dateline (complete with dramatic re-enactments), the show follows the misadventures of a family whose dog ate something they shouldn't have, and the subsequent efforts by the vet to undo the damage. Here's the promo to give you a taste (ha ha): ... Read more »
Blah blah blah posting blah
Any science nerd worth his or her salt is a Gary Larson fan. The guy is a genius. I can't possibly pick a favorite one of his cartoons (though the bummer of a birthmark is up there), but anyone with a dog will remember the famous "Blah Blah Ginger" cartoon: We all know this experience is not limited to conversations with dogs. ... Read more »
Fifty Dollars plus Time Served
I spent yesterday morning sitting in a grey carpeted holding pen, breathing stale air and trying not to make eye contact with the sea of humanity surrounding me. The wireless was down, so I was stuck playing Bejeweled on my iphone to pass the time. Despite the best video California's court system could muster up, I couldn't be convinced this was the opportunity of a lifetime. Nor was I buying the assertion that serving on a jury was going to be a bonding experience with my fellow citizens, ... Read more »
Tokens of affection
Today, I saw a very cute little dog who was in for suture removal after an orthopedic procedure. I saw the pet a couple of months ago, diagnosed the problem, and referred him to my boss for the repair. The dog was doing great, and the owners were thrilled. They were chatting with the tech, to whom they have become quite attached over the past month, when the owner reached into her purse and pulled out 2 very beautiful handmade cards. "This is for you," she said, presenting one to my ... Read more »
Clean + Green Giveaway!
When I was in college, majoring in biology up at a small liberal arts university in LA, I spent many hours at the coast studying the noxious effects of human debauchery on the environment. I'd sit at Dockweiler State Beach and admire the 747s taking off from LAX just over my head, inhaling the lovely smell of jet fuel and admiring the rare view of an empty Los Angeles Beach resting in the shadow of the Hyperion Sewage Treatment Plant. I'd go home, sob a little about the depravity of man into ... Read more »
Service Dogs and the ADA conundrum
When I was in vet school, I attended a guest lecture by a trainer for Guide Dogs for the Blind. As a part of the lecture, we watched a video on the training process these dogs must pass. It was unbelievable, what they had to learn and master in order to graduate. "We take this very seriously," said the trainer as we saw a dog being trained to sit quietly in an airliner simulator. "If these dogs don't behave well in any circumstance we can think of, not only do they put their people at risk, ... Read more »
Young Lambs
The spring is coming by a many signs; The trays are up, the hedges broken down, ... Read more »
The Adventures of Doc Slicey: Chapter One
I kicked open the door and saw the dame sitting by my office desk right away. Kiki. This meant trouble. "What are you doing here, kitten?" I growled, putting down my java and sliding my hand to make sure I was still packing heat. The cold steel of my shiv pressed against my palm. "Some hoodlum acting up again?" "We got trouble over in the cell, Doc," she said. "Jerky Maloy got popped in the schnozzle but he ain't cooperating." Doc- that's me. Doc Slicey. I pack a shot of joe in my left ... Read more »
Remind me never to leave for a week again
Two more chances to win a copy of Scent of the Missing! The odds are better each day! Comment for a chance to win! I had no idea my mere presence was enough to maintain the semblance of law and order, but apparently that is the case in this household. I leave for a week, and all hell breaks loose. One: My daughter decided to give herself a haircut. Not a trim, mind you, but a full on what-was-once-halfway-down-her-back-is-now-chin-length sort of deal. She did this with kid scissors. ... Read more »
How to make an awesome movie
I finally got to see How to Train Your Dragon last week. I wasn't expecting a whole lot, truth be told- it was something to do with my kids on spring break- but I was really blown away at how much fun it was. I liked it even better than Avatar. Yeah, I went there. Aside from the fact that I got to see the IMAX version, and I don't know how much that added to my enjoyment, I think Dreamworks finally took a hint from Pixar and focused on telling a really fantastic story. Took those guys long ... Read more »